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Ted 2 - Movie Review

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2 stars

Oh, the humanity. The foul-mouthed kid’s becomes a man. It should come as no surprise that Ted 2 is an overly stuffed and meandering event. After all, it is a sequel very few outside of the studio asked for. It has little hype to live up to and, as a result, will probably be a thundering hit in what is turning out to be a rather disappointing summer of anticipated flicks.

The bottom line is that its creator, Seth MacFarlane, can do (and has done) much, much better.  Is it funny? Sure. Is it inspired? Absolutely not. The film feels recycled. Originally conceived as a road trip picture (at least as pitched to by one of its new co-stars), Ted 2 misplaces the map to its destination inside a longwinded plot and mistakes a few good raunchy guffaws for the actual road.

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, Morgan Freeman, and John Slattery, Ted 2 has that uncare bear (again characterized by MacFarlane) married to his grocery store co-worker (Jessica Barth) while John’s (Wahlberg) own marriage (sometime in the years between movies) has gone diving into the ether. No Kunis in this one, folks. Soon enough, Ted finds himself struggling with the whole wedded bliss aspect of marriage and suggests to his wife that they have a baby. That will solve everything, right?

Except a teddy bear can't get a woman pregnate.  There's your plot complication, folks.

Obviously, the stuffed animal isn’t up to the challenge so, together, the dynamic duo come up with a whole lot of ways – including jerking-off Tom Brady – in order to get a suitable donor. What they never planned for was just how the rest of the world would respond. When the state of Massachusetts gets involved, telling Ted he’s property and not a person, a civil rights attorney comes to the rescue. With Sam Jones returning and more celebrity cameos than a Muppet movie, Ted 2 lights up more than one bong on its long and winding road.

MacFarlane’s voice is perfectly suited to the material. There’s no denying his talent for riffing about John Hughes’ movies and awkward situations revolving around sex. Wahlberg, who essentially is acting against a CGI no one, once again handles the humor and situation well. I blame the script by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, and Wellesley Wild for being the true failure as they let the pot jokes, pop culture comments, and subplots – again involving Ribisi plotting another bear hijacking – carry the weight of the load without true purpose. I like to hear MacFarlane do his comedy just as much as the other guy, but there’s still no reason for me to give one shit about what happens to this exaggerated Teddy Ruxpin.

With a focus on black men and their penises, much of Ted 2’s humor is often too easy and repetitive in that MacFarlane manner. His anarchist approach to direction doesn’t exactly mean he’s steering the vehicle, though. There is way too much included. That won’t stop audiences from flocking to it and it certainly won’t stop Universal from making Ted 3 in the near future. I just wish MacFarlane would truly work on the story instead of letting the jokes dictate the events of the picture. The funny masquerade parties he likes to through, no matter how clever they are, simply do not the motion picture make.

Ted 2 has no reason - other than the money the film will probably earn this weekend – to exist.

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[tab title="Film Details"]

Ted 2 - Movie Review

MPAA Rating: R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use.
Runtime:
115 mins
Director
: Seth McFarlane
Writer:
Seth McFarlane
Cast:
Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried
Genre
: Comedy
Tagline:
Ted is coming, again
Memorable Movie Quote: "Oh, my god! You're Sam L. Jackson!"
Distributor:
Universal Pictures
Official Site: http://www.legalizeted.com/
Release Date:
June 26, 2015
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
No details available.
Synopsis: Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.

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