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</script></div>{/googleAds}Pain is something none of us are strangers to. We've all experienced it in both emotional and physical terms. This reviewer is no different, having had a broken heart and even once being hospitalised after a Funnel Web spider bite... but few experiences can boast to inflict both kinds of pain at the same time: Lake Placid 2 can.

This assault on the eyes, ears, and hearts of all who are either forced or duped into watching it, is one of the most stupid, lazy, ridiculous assemblages of hackneyed scenes, writing, and characters ever assembled onto celluloid and as such, I point blank refuse to call this tripe a film.

This sequel no one asked for (to another piece of crap) follows a local sheriff (played by former Duke boy John Schneider) who investigates the attack of a scientist on the Lake Placid. Turns out the nutty old lady from the first film has an equally nutty sister (the wasted Cloris Leachman) who has been following in her sibling's footsteps and growing some big-assed crocodiles. Enter a bevy of idiotic characters with about as much depth as a baby bath - including the sheriff's son - and the stage is set for crocs to eat people in the most unoriginal, chomp by the numbers, crap-fest a brain damaged monkey could best on it's death bed.

The writing is abysmal, and any struggling screenwriter will call for blood from the Sci Fi Channel for paying for such moronic drivel. As one example to illustrate how lazy and stupid this script is, a girl tells a certain soon-to-be-victim a crocodile is behind him, and then two seconds later, as he's attacked, the fleeing girl says â"What happened? What is that?"

Characterisation is a word these idiots should have looked up in a dictionary before starting, ‘cause there is none. The plot is weak, robs from every monster movie ever made, and assembles it with all the dexterity of an elephant massaging a newborn baby.

The effects are the worst kind of community channel rubbish you can imagine, and are a perfect example for future filmmakers of the importance of a budget to match a story's scope. This may have been a TV movie, but if you're going to attempt something it's worth attempting well, and a CGI laden film on a two million dollar budget is as pointless as a sports car for a blind man.

Forgive the briefness and rather acidic tone of this review, but enough time has been wasted already on this garbage. There is a special feature on this disc that is either the greatest irony I've ever witnessed or an acknowledgement they (being the filmmakers) know what they're shovelling: a start-to-finish fast forwarding of the film that only slows periodically to show an action beat or a boob. Take their offer of mercy, if you must watch this, and go to this feature save yourself the hour and half of pain.

DVD

DVD Details:

Screen Formats: 1.85:1

Subtitles: English; French; Spanish

Language and Sound: English: Dolby Digital 5.1

Other Features: Color; interactive menus; scene access; Sex, Guns, and Croc-n-Roll; Surviving a Crocodile Attack; Lake Placid 2: The "Gnawed Up" Version..

* Featurettes
o Sex, Guns, and Croc-n-Roll (04:00)
o Surviving a Crocodile Attack (04:00)
o LAKE PLACID 2: The 'Gnawed Up' Version - offers viewers the option to watch the entire film in fast-forwarded speed that slows down to normal speed for the nudity or gore scenes.

Number of Discs: 1 with Keepcase Packaging

{pgomakase}