2 stars


Hatchet Blu-ray Review

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I can applaud the efforts of Adam Green and his gung-ho sensibilities all I want, but that won’t make Hatchet, his debut film, – being marketed as a return to real American horror - any better.   Believe me, I wanted to enjoy this effort; wanted to feel the same things for it that I once felt about the ingenuity of Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween, but it’s not going to happen.  Not even on Blu-ray.  Not with this one, folks.  It’s not that the slasher genre is dead and unrevivable, it’s just that Green’s Hatchet – while it has every single expected slasher motif – doesn’t deliver its results in a completely satisfying way – even on this unrated cut.

New Orleans has taken its fair share of hits lately, but this time it’s the perfect location for the gruesomeness unloaded when Victor Crowley returns (From the dead? From the stories told about him to scare the little ones? From the imagination?) to cut-up some unsuspecting people on an illegal nighttime haunted swamp tour.  Ben (Joel David Moore) is not completely in-tune with the spirit of boob-flashing Mardi Gras since getting dumped by his girlfriend.  He’d rather experience some fun with a haunted swap tour.  Much to the dismay of his friend, Marcus (Deon Richmond), who decides to join him out of pity.  Together, the two young men traverse the French Quarter in search of somebody willing to take them on a Haunted Swamp Tour.

Enter tourist-shyster Shawn (Parry Shen), who overcharges the men, groups them with a couple of porn stars named Jenna (Joleigh Fiorevanti) and Misty (Mercedes McNab), their director   Shapiro (Joel Murray), a mysterious local name Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), and an aging couple on vacation named Mr. (Richard Riehle) and Mrs. (Patricka Darbo) Permatteo.  All have been warned about this mysterious Crowley, yet all commit to the tour – in spite of the hilarious and final hillbilly warning of their impending doom.

Of course, Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder) returns.  Of course, he brings his hatchet.  You know what happens.  That’s part of the fun of experiencing Hatchet.

Except it isn’t fun.  At least, not all the time.  Sure, there are some scenes that will make you choke with unexpected laughter, but there aren’t enough of them to sustain any genuine interest in the picture.  If this film was made as nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake, then it sort of works as it is VERY bloody, VERY gruesome, and VERY physical – without nary a “drop” of CG blood.  Something Horror Legend George A. Romero couldn’t avoid with Survival of the Dead.  That alone is worthy of a star.  Seriously.  All the props are physical and exist and the graphic kills are quite good.  Yet, the film – while it may get marginally better with repeat viewings – simply doesn’t play to its strengths as a horror film.  It also isn’t consistent in tone.  Sure, it’s jokey but the actors aren’t sure of the material and deliver some pretty awful interpretations of lines I suspect were meant to be “funny” but aren’t.

Buckets of blood it is.  Great story it isn’t.  Good beginning?  A little slow, but serviceable.  Ending?  It sucks balls.  Seriously lame…even for the genre.  I suppose we should look past some of its low-budget flaws, but it is hard to navigate around some pretty damn huge potholes.  Usually, those effects make the film a little more charming.  Not here.  Not with Hatchet.  I think it’s great that Green was able to convince the producers to invest in the film from his “fake” trailer.  I applaud that determination.  I simply wish the result was better.  Much better.

Now with the original on Blu-ray (and with Hatchet 2 opening in theatres this October), you get to be the judge of his directorial debut.  Is this a return to the salad days of the slasher genre?  Or is it just junk?  Me?  I am not quite ready to totally dismiss this effort.  I will watch Hatchet again, hoping it gets better a second time through and I will see its sequel also hoping for better results.

What kind of a blood-lusting fool does that make me?


Component Grades
Movie
Blu-ray Disc
2 stars
4 stars
Blu-ray Experience
3 Stars

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Available on Blu-ray - September 7, 2010
Screen Formats: 1.78:1
Subtitles
: English SDH, Spanish
Audio:
English: Dolby TrueHD 5.1
Discs: 50GB Blu-ray Disc; Single disc (1 BD)

Hatchet is finally – since it was first released in 2007 on DVD - presented in a 1080p high definition transfer (1.78:1).  Sharp in detail and full of colorful range, the big improvement are the nighttime scenes.  Blacks are strong and shadows crisp.  Shot on 35mm, the transfer does retain some of the grain of the original – which is nice for some added throwbacks to another time period when “Slashers” were King.  The sound on this release is presented in Dolby TrueHD 5.1 Surround which thunderously shakes the walls and causes all sorts of jumpy thrills.

Supplements:

Commentaries:

  • ALL-NEW Audio Commentary with Writer/Director Green and Actor Hodder.  WARNING: This does contain spoilers involving the film’s sequel (“Hatchet II“).  ‘Nuff said.
  • Audio Commentary with Green, Cinematographer Will Barratt and Actors Tamara Feldman, Joel David Moore and Deon Richmond.  This is the only “carry over” from the original DVD release.

Featurettes:

  • “The Making of Hatchet” (39:18): an in-depth “making of” featurette with good  interviews from writer/director Adam Green as well as other cast and crew members discussing the film’s inception and history.
  • “Meeting Victor Crowley” (9:24): a featurette containing interviews with Hodder and Green along with the cast members discussing Victor Crowley and their first encounter with him.
  • “Guts & Gore” (10:58): your average behind the screams look at the film’s make-up special effects and use of gore.
  • “Anatomy of a Kill” (6:21): this featurette discusses the choreography of the kill scenes and includes interviews with John Carl Buechler who did the Make-Up SFX.
  • “A Twisted Tale” (8:32): this featurette is truly of interested parties only; Green discussed his admiration of and friendship with “Twisted Sister” front-man Dee Snider.
  • “Gag Reel” (3:43).

Theatrical Trailer (1:48)

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