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Insidious: Chapter 2 - Movie Review

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Insidious: Chapter 2 - Movie Review

1 star

Allow me to be blunt.  Insidious: Chapter 2 is scary … scary bad.  There, I said it, it’s comparable only to watching an awful student film that goes nowhere in 105 minutes.  It is also completely unnecessary as it can’t find its way around a proper and sensible plot.

The sequel is so entirely ludicrous that it soils the original film with its wacky explanations for some of the events in the haunting of the Lambert family.  Director James Wan can direct a picture – for proof see Saw or The Conjuring – but, with Insidious: Chapter 2, he’s largely asleep behind the wheel.  Who can blame him, though?  This is the loopy stuff of supreme boredom.  Yes, folks, boredom.

I only wish Insidious: Chapter 2 was laughable.  Maybe then I would have found something to appreciate.  It’s not even that; the sign of a true and greedy cash-grab from its filmmakers and studio.

Beginning in 1986 with a “peek” at the haunting a young Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) went through, Insidious: Chapter 2 attempts to surpass the original’s exposure to the Further as the Lambert’s haunting continues.  This time, the haunting is coming – as the ending of the original film suggested – from Josh.  Suspected of murdering Elise Ranier (Lin Shaye), Josh – freed from police custody – returns to his family who are now living at his mother’s house.  Their nightmare is far from over.  His attitude changes and he begins to torment them as his experience in the Further turns into a full blown possession.

But, with Elise dead, getting help from the other side is the family’s only option.  You read that correctly.  I mean, with wide-mouthed ghosts like these, who are you gonna call?

They should have called acting coaches.  It’s like the entire mandate of the production was to NOT act.  Performance-wise, the line chewing on display here is pathetic.  Everyone is at fault: the mother (Rose Byrne), the father (Wilson), his mom (Barbara Hershey) and the return of everyone’s favorite blundering ghost hunters (Angus Sampson and Leigh Whannell).  Everyone sucks the life out of this corpse-ridden production.

Injecting more comedy into the mix from these two “investigators” turns the movie into an endless run of stupid Three Stooges gags as they fall down on each other and trade jabs.  And then there’s the doubling back on itself as Insidious: Chapter 2 becomes Insidious right before your eyes and tries to explain some of the bangs and thumps and assorted other noises from the first film.

The “characters” spend the movie running around – without sense of motivation or purpose (other than Whannell’s script says so) – from one haunted setting to another (including an abandoned hospital) as they scream at things jumping out at them.  Suspense is gone and so are the scares.  That “he’s got your baby” scene played to death in the trailers is the one good moment.  The rest is basic, basic, basic jump scares.

I’ve seen bad movies that I actually liked.  This is not one of them.  There’s no attempt to produce a cohesive plot or story and the edits are so poorly put together that the damn thing doesn’t make a lick of sense – even after they explain their version of a twist.  The bottom line is that Saturday night karaoke is more frightening than this movie.

Insidious: Chapter 2 is a worthless sequel that is poorly built upon pathetic horror-movie clichés and blank expressions of anxiety.  This is easily – without any competition – the worst movie of the year.  And I haven’t even discussed the dumbest (and possibly most pathetic) ending of any movie I have ever seen.

Intrigued yet?  You shouldn’t be.  Enter Insidious: Chapter 2 at your own risk.

Insidious: Chapter 2 - Movie ReviewMPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of terror and violence, and thematic elements.
Runtime:
105 mins.
Director
: James Wan
Writer: Leigh Whannell
Cast: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Barbara Hershey
Genre: Horror
Tagline:
Insidious: Chapter 2
Memorable Movie Quote: "In my line of work things tend to happen when it gets dark."
Distributor:
FilmDistrict
Official Site:
www.insidiousch2.com
Release Date: September 13, 2013
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
No details available

Synopsis: The haunted Lambert family seeks to uncover the mysterious childhood secret that has left them dangerously connected to the spirit world.

No details available.

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