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</script></div>{/googleAds}I wish I had awesome things to say about this movie. I wish I could tell you that this was an undiscovered gem of a movie like Hot Rod was to my comic sensibilities. I wish I could tell you a lot of things about Miss March that I simply cannot without going straight to hell for lying to you all. What I can tell you is this: I laughed hard twice. I might have even chuckled to myself a bit, but overall, this movie makes watching cereal turn to watery mush seem like a good use of one's time. Fact. Miss March tries to hit exactly in the center of mass appeal where the gross-out raunchiness of teenage boys meets the sticky sweetness of teenage girls as a comedy disguised as a sweet romance, but in a bizarre fueled-by-anarchy-behind-and-in-front-of-the-camera twist and turn of events, Miss March simply fails.

Miss MarchEugene (Zach Cregger) and his longstanding girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi), two richly naive high schoolers and self-proclaiming sexual abstainers, are finally going to have sex after their Senior Prom. Yet, Eugene, after slamming a few too many shots with best friend Tucker (Trevor Moore) falls down a flight of stairs, slams his head into a shelf (that eventually collapses onto him) and goes into a four-year coma. Awakened by a wooden bat to the head, courtesy of Tucker, discovers that Cindi is now all grown up and currently the month of March's centerfold in that little magazine owned by Hugh Hefner. The two, while escaping Tucker's epileptic girlfriend and a bunch of gonzo firemen, decide to journey to The Playboy Mansion, where Eugene hopes to entice his sweetheart back from the dark side of life and Tucker hopes to score a playmate.

What follows is a series of unevenly funny bits, albeit mean-spirited, insults, gags, and jabs at women and bodily functions as the two leads descend into the eternal darkness of what can only be described as adolescent sexual panic and become unlikeable dorks.

Miss March was written and directed (as if you couldn't tell) by Cregger and Moore (members of the comedy troupe The Whitest Kids You Know) and the film, like I said, it has its comic moments; however, the movie feels more like one of their lengthier and, unfortunately for the audience, unfunnier skits from their comedy troupe.


Component Grades
Movie
DVD
2 stars
2 stars
DVD Experience
2 stars

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Screen Formats: 1.85:1

Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish, Portuguese.

Language and Sound: English: DTS 5.1 Surround French: Dolby Digital 5.1

Other Features: Color; interactive menus; scene access; making-of featurette; "Lose Myself" music video by Ms. Lauryn Hill; original short "The ChubbChubbs Save Xmas".

Supplements:

Commentary

  • None

Featurettes

  • Viral videos (480p, 13:54)
  • Down & Dirty (480p, 2:08)

Discs: 50GB Blu-ray Disc Two-disc set Digital copy

{pgomakase}