Paramount Presents: The Golden ChildThe new comedy starring Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson called The Hustle is an almost identical remake of the 1988 classic comedy Dirty Rotten Scoundrels which starred Michael Caine and Steve Martin - itself a remake of Marlon Brando’s Bedtime Story. I say “almost” because  ...

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019)There’s a key scene about halfway through A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood in which cynical journalist Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys), utters under his breath, "he's about the nicest person I've ever met.” Of course, Lloyd is talking about Fred Rogers, the host of ...

Panic aka BakterionThis Italian-Spanish co-production is a shoddy-looking horror film. Know that first. Panic, also known as Bakterion) is also quite interesting in its own way, weaving a tale about scientists who create something they cannot even hope to control through failed bacteria experiments, as it has more  ...

MidwayHollywood needs more war films. Despite the pig-headed durability of the world’s war machine providing an unending supply of source material, the genre has largely become abandoned with only the occasional passion project popping up from time to time around Veteran’s Day. For decades, the underserved ...

The Godfather, Coda: The Death of Michael CorleoneLadies and gentlemen, we finally have a fitting conclusion to The Godfather.  It might have taken us some time to get there, but with the release of The Godfather, Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone, that finale is upon us and what a much better film this cut is as it celebrates its 30th  ...

Motherless Brooklyn (2019)

Interior: DARK, GIN-SOAKED MOVIE THEATER CAMERA - SLOW PAN LEFT TO RIGHT. It was a dark and stormy night. Flickering frames of light pierced the smoky darkness, casting shadows on the tattered silver screen. The projector’s jittery rays revealed the forlorn faces of a checked-out audience while the stormy night’s deafening ...

D.C. Cab (1983)

“Fool! Your fare is the only thing stopping me from breaking your face!” Directed by Joel Schumacher (Lost Boys, Falling Down, 8MM, Batman & Robin), D.C. Cab is his blissfully unaware feature film which follows in the hilarious footprints of The Incredible Shrinking Woman, which ...

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)There are few directors out there that have the distinction of making sequels to hit films that not only reach the quality of the original, but surpass it. James Cameron is one of them. He is an auteur that never rested on his laurels, always coming at things with a fresh take for a follow up and never settling for ...

The BeastmasterLove it, hate it, or just leave this crazy fantasy flick alone, there’s no denying that The Beastmaster, directed by Phantasm’s Don Coscarelli, is a certified home-run when it comes to B-minded sword-and-sorcery romps.  Magnificent muscles?  Check.  Nudity?  Check.  Magic?  ...

The Little MermaidWith Disney’s current dominance at the box office, it is difficult to believe it, but they weren’t doing so well (theatrically) in the latter half of the 1980s. They had experienced, especially in the animation realm, a series of costly underperforming features and the sure thing that used ...

She Mob/The Girl from Pussycat (1968)

Give me some blood!  Whip him!  She Mob begins with an absolute BANG. Forget what you’ve heard about this film being utterly unwatchable.  It isn’t true.  Sure, sure, the “adult” material goes on for far too long, but all of that simply adds to the weirdness ...

Zombieland: Double TapThe road trip through the zombie apocalypse continues with Ruben Fleischer’s Zombieland: Double Tap, which comes some ten years after his Zombieland caught the front end of the zombie resurgence in the ‘90s and rode it into undead lore. ...

Rest in Pieces (1987)

They don’t make ‘em like this anymore! Spanish director José Ramón Larraz offered some exploitation masterpieces in his time behind the camera.  From the SIN-sation that is Vampyres to the unnerving brilliance that is Black Candles, Larraz was known for his fiery persona ...

WaterworldThe last decade of the 20th Century in movies saw the pinnacle of star-powered excess-driven extravaganzas peak with Kevin Costner’s Waterworld. One of the biggest stars in the world, at the time, he could write his own ticket, dictate all terms, and will anything he wanted into existence. That ...

King of the Mountain (1981)Think you know street racing, son?  If you haven’t seen Harry Hamlin (Clash of the Titans), Dennis Hopper (Blue Velvet), and Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams) go at it beneath the twinkling stars of Los Angeles, then you don’t know shit about driving fast on city streets. ...

Gemini ManRarely does conventional wisdom hold in Hollywood. Particularly with regards to the notion that less is more and that simplicity is superior to elaborate embellishment. Take, for instance Jerry Bruckheimer, the titan of TNT, who subscribes to the theory that if a candle is needed ...

Inner Sanctum Mysteries

“This . . . is the Inner Sanctum.”   With that opening statement as a guiding force, Universal Pictures launched what would be an interesting venture alongside Simon & Schuster as they produced a series of B-grade horror films starring the one and only Lon Chaney, Jr. ...

Western StarsSomewhere in Colts Neck, New Jersey there sets a horse farm owned by Bruce Springsteen.  And on those 378 acres there is a two-story barn which, on certain nights, doubles as a performance area for Springsteen, his wife Patti Scialfa, and some close friends.  The voices coming out from  ...

War of the Colossal Beast (1958)

We aren’t in Las Vegas anymore, baby! Written, produced, and directed by Mr. Rear-Projection himself, Bert Gordon (King Dinosaur, Earth vs. the Spider, The Amazing Colossal Man, and Empire of the Ants), War of the Colossal Beast is the ...

Hellboy II: The Golden Army2004’s Hellboy was a well-received if unspectacular performer at the box office, and the studios were not in a hurry to spend on another one. Undeterred, Guillermo Del Toro pressed on pitching various iterations of what could be the follow up. Oh, and since he had some time to kill ...

How to Make a Monster (1958)Fans of Paul Blaisdell’s creature work for films like The She-Creature, It Conquered The World, and Invasion of the Saucer Men are going to dig How to Make a Monster as his monster designs get some prime camera time when hung on the walls.  Some audiences are going to see ...

Joker (2019)Joker was frightening proposition for this reviewer, who has been a lifelong Batman fanatic. Firstly because it presumed to make the focus of its narrative on one of the greatest antagonists in storytelling history, without the hero; secondly because it wasn’t going to stick with ...

Return to Splatter Farm

Beware the barn!  Ah, f@#$ it.  Enter at your own risk, fools.  You’ve been warned. With the smells of rotted wood and autumn leaves hanging in the air, you know that it is time to celebrate serial killing season once more!  Hell, we even have a Friday the 13th release for this horror flick ...

Breakthrough (2019)Movies like Miracles from Heaven and Heaven Is for Real tell allegedly true stories of divine intervention. The latest such movie is 2019’s Breakthrough. About four years ago in Missouri, teenager John Smith (Marcel Ruiz) fell through the ice of a frozen lake. After 15 minutes underwater he clinically died. But when ...

Shark Encounters of the Third KindAlien invaders?  Mind control via sharks?  Underwater inner monologues?  Treasure and babes in bikinis?  Shark Encounters of the Close Kind has it all!  It even has an abundant amount of gut busting laughs as this comedy takes nothing seriously - even the shark attacks! ...

Rambo: Last BloodTenacious is the first word that comes to mind when thinking of Sylvester Stallone. He was once one of the highest-paid and most successful actors in cinema’s history, and, like most, has had his fair share of career highlights and—lets be kind—lulls. ...

Lake Michigan MonsterShot in black-and-white on a shoestring budget of nickels and dimes, Lake Michigan Monster is - at once - alarmingly successful in its goal of sending-up the whole monster hunting motif in horror films as a wronged sea captain living in a lighthouse mounts a hilarious hunt involving a  ...

It CHapter TwoWhen Stephen King’s doorstop novel was adapted for TV in the 90’s, it accomplished what shouldn’t have been possible. King’s novel is a behemoth tome, with dozens of characters, and was one of his truly graphic forays into the horror genre for ...

Tremors: Shrieker Island (2020)From dry deserts to tropical islands, Tremors shows no signs of stopping anytime soon, but - if this is the end of the road for the franchise - it goes out on a hell of a high note thanks to Tremors: Shrieker Island ...

It's a Wonderful LifeThere are touchstone pictures that transcend any generation, no matter when they were born, that fall under the MUST WATCH category. They are masterpieces. Films like Citizen Kane, The Maltese Falcon, Treasure of Sierra Madre, (I know! Bogart nut) it doesn’t matter. If you are a film aficionado, a general viewer, a ...

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