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No Such Thing As Monsters - Movie Review

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No Such Thing As Monsters

“Wake up.  We’ve got company.” 

With those lines, a young couple finds their retreat into the woods for quiet and comfort cut short.  David was going to propose, but their unexpected guests change the peaceful landscape almost immediately.  From borrowing bottle openers to asking for some photographs to be taken, it all sounds innocent enough . . . except there is a darkness that descends as this “family” reveal their psychopathic tendencies.

"Full of tense sequences and led by a smarter than average "Final Girl" performance"

With that, No Such Thing As Monsters opens its arms for the coldest of embraces.

And the results will leave you chilled to the bone as Writer/Director Stuart Stanton introduces you to this collection of nutjobs, simply called “the family”.  About 30-minutes into this horror film, the most startling image appears . . . and it it is of the four of them sitting and staring at the anxiety-filled Mary.  That’s how creepy they are together.  And Mary, with her missing arm, has few methods to fight them off with.  Poor girl.

But where’s David?  Just wait and see what this family has prepared for him!  Bloody and brutal, who knew the countryside could be this deranged?  Perhaps co-writer Karen Elgar did because this one hits hard on the home turf, too.  No Such Thing As Monsters

Full of tense sequences and led by a smarter than average "Final Girl" performance, No Such Thing As Monsters proves that, in fact, there are monsters living among us . . . and it does this with style as a hostage situation leads to an ending that will leave everyone stunned.

Starring Angel Giuffria, Matthew Clarke, Michaela Celeste, Georgia Crisfield-Smith, Rebecca Fortuna, Jacob Fyfe, Rohana Hayes, and David Macrae, No Such Thing As Monsters is the latest thriller from Australia and it is yet another horror film that is effective in providing a rich atmosphere for its own particular brand of chaos and disorder to ricochet off of.  It all works to create an endlessly creepy experience.

While it is similar in tone and attitude to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes, this survival flick manages to bring something different to the horror racket thanks to a pregnancy, bizarre massages from burn victims, and campfire stories that - thanks to some stellar acting - will creep you out long after the closing credits.  

No Such Thing As Monsters premieres On Demand and DVD October 27 from Uncork’d Entertainment.  With no safe place to hide, all I can say is good luck to you because these monsters are REAL.

4/5 stars

No Such Thing As Monsters


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No Such Thing As Monsters

MPAA Rating: Unrated.
89 mins
: Stuart Stanton
Karen Elgar, Stuart Stanton
Angel Giuffria, Matthew Clarke, Georgia Crisfield Smith
: Horror
Your Parents Lied.
Memorable Movie Quote: "It's been almost 20 years. This place hasn't changed a bit."
Uncork'd Entertainment
Official Site:
Release Date:
October 27, 2020
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:

Synopsis: A young couple on a romantic weekend in the Australian bush are terrorised by a psychopathic family.

No Such Thing As Monsters

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