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[tab title="Movie Review"]

Stand up Guys - Movie Review

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The script for Stand Up Guys comes from somewhere deep in the pile of thousands that languish year after year on Hollywood’s Black List, the holding tank for unproduced screenplays where such memorable heavyweights as Juno, Slumdog Millionaire, and The King’s Speech found their light of day.

But unfortunately, for every The Hangover on the list, there are dozens and dozens of Abductions. This is one of the latter. While Stand Up Guys isn’t quite feeding from the bottom of the same trough that produced the 2011 stinker starring a shirtless Taylor Lautner, one certainly has to wonder what it was in the script that encouraged producers to take a bold chance on it.

From first-time screenwriter Noah Haidle, the screenplay is squandered somewhere between its meandering, senseless plot and the empty Tarantino-wannabe discourse. The vision was to be a clever, dialogue-driven character study that features an A-list cast of veteran acting heavyweights - who have somehow never worked together, by the way. But what results is something that more closely resembles a series of disjointed stage skits held together by some of the most excruciating dialogue this side of Episode 1. That’s probably because Haidle comes from a stage writing background and has no sense of what to do with a screenplay.

It’s the tale of three aging, former mobsters getting together for one last night on the town. Val (Al Pacino), now a septuagenarian, is released from prison after serving a 28-year stint for refusing to give up his criminal associates. Waiting for him at the prison gate is best friend Doc (Christopher Walken) who agrees to put Val up at his ratty apartment before the two hit the town. But there’s a sadness in Doc’s eyes and a loaded pistol in his pocket. We learn that due to a foulup during a job all those years ago, Doc is tasked by the head Boss with killing his best pal before 10 o’clock the next morning.

Yes, it’s thin on plot, but with such veteran actors in roles that harken back to some of their most memorable, albeit much more forced this time around, it should be entertaining enough to just sit and watch these guys read from the phone book. Instead, they’re asked to lumber through numerous hackneyed scenarios, such as an awkward visit to a bordello which brings about a fit of “unpreparedness” by Val’s character. To remedy the situation, the pair break into a nearby pharmacy to pilfer some “boner pills.” Yes, that’s how Al Pacino is used here; as the brunt of an onslaught of juvenile Viagra jokes and tawdry erection sight gags. What a disgrace. A bit about stealing hypertension, cholesterol, and arthritis medication - after all, they’re old and already in the pharmacy, get it? - fails miserably, as does the subsequent crushing and snorting of the pills to get high.

The proceedings do get a much-needed jolt of excitement however, when Val and Doc bust old friend and former wheel man Hirsch (Alan Arkin) out of the nursing home before stealing a souped-up Dodge Challenger and taking it out on the town. But guess where they go. Back to the same bordello where the all-too-familiar low-ball shenanigans, again, swing for the gutter… and strike the target squarely.

In spite of the fact that his appearance is barely more than that of a cameo, Arkin seems to have the most fun in his role. Pacino and Waken do an admirable job with what they’re given - and even manage to almost save this thing from its own impactless misdirection. But ultimately, even great performances can’t rescue this flatlining comedy.

With a stellar cast of veteran actors and an actor’s director in Fisher Stevens (who starred in the Short Circuit films of the ‘80s and directed the searing documentary The Cove), Stand Up Guys had a great chance at becoming the Godfather of old geezer gangster flicks. But instead, it more closely resembles the Abduction of the Hollywood Black List.[/tab]

[tab title="Film Details"]

Stand up Guys - Movie ReviewMPAA Rating: R for language, sexual content, violence, brief drug use.
Runtime: 95 mins.
Director
: Fisher Stevens
Writer
: Noah Haidle
Cast:
Al Pacino; Christopher Walken; Alan Arkin;Julianna Margulies
Genre: Comedy | Crime
Tagline:
They don't make 'em like they used to.
Memorable Movie Quote: "Kill him by 10 o'clock in the am, or you're dead too."
Distributor:
Lakeshore Entertainment
Official Site:
www.standupguysfilm.com
Release Date: February 1, 2013
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
No details available.

Synopsis: Val is released from prison after serving twenty-eight years for refusing to give up one of his close criminal associates. His best friend Doc is there to pick him up, and the two soon re-team with another old pal, Hirsch. Their bond is as strong as ever, and the three reflect on freedom lost and gained, loyalties ebbed and flowed, and days of glory gone by. And despite their age, their capacity for mayhem is still very much alive and well - bullets fly as they make a hilariously valiant effort to compensate for the decades of crime, drugs and sex they've missed. But one of the friends is keeping a dangerous secret- he's been put in an impossible quandary by a former mob boss, and his time to find an acceptable alternative is running out. As the sun rises on the guys' legendary reunion, their position becomes more and more desperate and they finally confront their past once and for all.[/tab]

[tab title="Blu-ray Review"]

No details available.[/tab]

[tab title="Trailer"]

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