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Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

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Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

She's a fugitive kind!

Slashers probably should only drag bodies on the ground and not the actual pacing.  I’m not saying Splatter University is a horrible horror film, but truly the only thing that can save this wacky mess from itself are the drinking games you are going to make up in order to get through this disasterpiece.

A knife drops on the ground.  A man – one shoe off, one shoe on – picks it up as he walks down the hall of the schizophrenic unit in a mental hospital.  With searing synths adding to the atmosphere, the search for a missing patient and then the unthinkable happens.  One of the doctors opens a hallway door and WHACK, the poos bastard – as the synths pulsate – gets knifed right in the groin.  Clutching his balls, blood squirts everywhere before he falls to the ground. 

"this could have been a serious contender . . . and, in an alternative dimension, maybe it is."


Minutes later, a young teacher is stabbed in the boob.  With the body count climbing, this Troma Entertainment released slasher quickly earns its stripes with two seemingly isolated events leading off the killings.

Welcome to Splatter University.  It is a place where the classrooms are cursed and the young teachers and students alike are stalked by someone or something that really wants to earn their degree in Murder 101.  And, truly, the shocking discoveries of the murders are the best things about this 75-minute oddity.

When Forbes Riley arrives as Julie Parker on campus, she has no idea she is replacing a recently killed teacher.  She just is thankful for a job.  Excited to begin, she ignores the obnoxious students selling nickel bags for $6 (ha, ha) and heads to her supposedly cursed classroom.  She’s excited, too, you know?!  Herr first class doesn’t go so well.  She is already being observed by the staff and abortion is the topic that is brought up. 

Turns out the church and its leadership has problems with her already.  This is a weirdly uneven film.  With as many jabs as it has toward priests and sex, one almost expects a comedy.  And then, thanks to some scenic shots, there is almost a natural quality to some of the moments, making it very subdued.  This is a Slasher?  Problem is, it NEVER gets exciting. 

And then the film brings us the story of the students.  From the faceless teens and young adults and their lives and relationships, we quickly learn that this place is full of stanky priests who ogle young teachers, sleep with students, and do little to hide it from everyone else.  The young students are always random, never memorable, and don’t really help to push the movie along in its plot.  And then we have, of course, the goofs in the film thanks to director Robert Haines unkeen eye. Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

Riley is very good at being innocent.  She is seriously the only redeeming part when it comes to the cast.  The rest just wait around to be killed by the psychotic with the knife.  Splatter University isn’t a bomb, mind you, I do love the atmospheric synths and the fact that ONE song keeps playing over and over in the background and on the radio.  But, man, this could have been a serious contender . . . and, in an alternative dimension, maybe it is.

Splatter University, newly scanned and restored in 2K from its 16mm original camera negative, is now available from Vinegar Syndrome in a Blu-ray/DVD combo release.

2 beers

Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

MPAA Rating: R.
Runtime:
78 mins
Director
: Richard W. Haines
Writer:
Michael Cunningham
Cast:
Forbes Riley, Ric Randig, Dick Biel
Genre
: Horror
Tagline:
Where the school colors are blood red!
Memorable Movie Quote: "What's troubling you lately?"
Theatrical Distributor:
Troma Entertainment
Official Site:
Release Date:
July 13, 1984
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
January 29, 2019
Synopsis: Years ago, a madman escaped from an asylum, slashing his way through to freedom and continuing his bloody rampage at nearby Saint Trinian’s College. Now, years later, new teacher Julie Parker, begins to sense that something isn’t quite right at the small town college and it’s not long before her students and fellow faculty members begin disappearing or, worse yet, are found brutally butchered. Determined to uncover the truth behind the ongoing violence, Julie begins her own investigation, unaware that she’s putting herself at risk of becoming the ruthless murderer’s next target.

Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Slipcover Limited to 1,500 / Blu-ray + DVD

Home Video Distributor: Vinegar Syndrome
Available on Blu-ray
- January 29, 2019
Screen Formats: 1.85:1
Subtitles
: English SDH
Audio:
English: DTS-HD Master Audio Mono
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; Two-disc set; DVD Copy
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A

Vinegar Syndrome presents this newly scanned and restored 2K presentation of Splatter University on blu-ray with great results.  The region free Blu-ray/DVD combo looks incredible.  Black levels are consistent and so, too, are the colors.  The new 1080p transfer is crisp with defined edges. Colors are vivid and fine details are noticeable. Skin tones are warm. Occasionally, the red tones overcompensate in some areas, but a sharp-looking release nonetheless. This was filmed in the daylight, so keep that in mind as the detail in the woods is nice.  The faithful English DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 track is an incredible accompaniment to the feature.

Supplements:

Commentary:

  • Fans of the slasher genre get two commentaries with this release.  There is a commentary track with director Richard W. Haines and another with The Hysteria Continues!

Special Features:

Complete with reversible cover art, the blu-ray release gets an audio interview with the film’s composer, TV spots, galleries, and the theme song.  Horror fans should take note: the limited edition embossed slipcover (designed by Earl Kessler Jr.) is limited to 1,500 units and is only available at VinegarSyndrome.com

  • Christopher Burke Audio Interview
  • Still Gallery
  • Theme Song
  • Script Gallery
  • Radio Spots
  • Original Trailer
  • TV Spot

Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

Splatter University (1984) - Blu-ray Review

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