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</script></div>{/googleAds}With the current slate of upcoming horror offerings being choked with remakes, and the last couple making us wonder why they are bothering, it will undoubtedly shock to read this latest retelling of an 80's horror slasher flick doesn't help in answering that question. Incredible, I know! They made yet another remake that sucks more arse than a porno star with a mortgage, and you have forty more to look forward to in the next couple of years...

Few remakes have been good, some may be polished but still make you wonder why they bothered, but most just leave a dank smell in air and a black cloud over your head, knowing you can't have that couple of hours back. ‘Prom Night,' the latest reimagining (using all their buzz words!), makes you wonder if the selection criteria these people are employing is nothing more than a blindfolded monkey throwing shit at a dartboard with 80's horror hits attached.

Prom NightThis flaccid, atrociously pointless endeavour has got to be the most ineffective, unnecessary remake yet. Choosing admirably to depart quite dramatically from the Jamie Lee Curtis original, that's where the admiration ends. What unfolds in the longest couple of hours in this reviewer's life is the most anaemic, soulless so-call horror film ever committed to film.

‘Prom Night' tells the story of a pretty young blonde (Brittany Snow), whose teacher takes a rather unprofessional liking to (but they never explain why) and butchers her family (which is never explained either). Skip forward a few years, and our pretty blonde is going to prom with some equally pretty classmates... but her obsessed teacher has escaped from the nuthouse (again unexplained) and instead of trying to abduct her, he wanders about a lush hotel with the subtlety of Hannibal Lector at a kiddies birthday party, killing various folk for the bulk of the story before finally deciding to get to his point... get his dream girl.

This script is a disgustingly lazy pile of moronic drivel, and a true abomination that someone actually paid for it to be written. There are more plot holes than pictures of Britney Spears being hauled off to the nuthouse; the characters are the most insultingly vacuous, irritatingly bland pack of cookie-cutter morons this side of a mannequin; the scares are non-existent; the clichés are ten a minute with absolutely no effort made at all to deliver some form of surprise or even - dare we ask -believability.

Production values are top notch, and overused to the exception of everything else. Whoever these teens are, their school has a prom budget equal to the Oscars, and it makes the already idiotic cartoonish story all the more unrelatable... if that's possible.

Hollywood seemed content to start rolling redos of former hits off their slate like a production line in the hope of a quick buck. Well it seems this must be the first model off a completely automated assembly line because no one is bothering to try or even look at what they're making anymore. The money/movie making machine will deliver our horror for us, and if its gonna be like this one from now on, count me out.


Component Grades
Movie
DVD
1 Star
3 Stars
DVD Experience
2 stars

DVD

DVD Details:

Screen Formats: 2.40:1

Subtitles: English, Mandarin, Indonesian, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, Thai

Language and Sound: English: Closed Captioned; English: Dolby Digital 5.1; Portuguese: Dolby Digital 5.1; Spanish: Dolby Digital 5.1; Thai: Dolby Digital 5.1

Other Features: Color; interactive menus; scene access; alternate ending; deleted scenes; audio commentary; photo gallery; bonus featurettes.

* Commentary
o Feature-length commentary track with director Nelson McCormick and cast
* Featurettes
o Bridgeport High Vikings Video Yearbook
o A Night to Remember: The Making of Prom Night
o Profile of a Killer
o Gothic Space: Creating the Pacific Grand Hotel
o Prom Night Photo Album: Real Prom Stories from the Cast
* Deleted Scenes - with optional commentary
* Gag Reel
* Number of Discs: 1 with Keepcase Packaging

{pgomakase}

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