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Delta FarceTake a hundred monkeys, cram them into an uncomfortable room with no AC, fill that room with the smoke of a million bongs, force them to drink from a communal trough of beer, force them to watch the Police Academy series repeatedly, and then chain them in front of a typewriter to type with their nipples... you still won't be half as cruel as forcing someone to sit through Delta Farce but you will get a better movie...

This moronic waste of time, energy, some talent and money tells the story and I use the term loosely of three hapless army reservists, who are ordered to Iraq by a diet-Full-Metal-Jacket type Sergeant, who is sent to fulfil a lack of man-power. Within two seconds of said mission, the morons-three are unceremoniously dumped in the Mexican desert - of course think they're in Iraq - and go on to help liberate a small Mexican village from a cartel that make the morons-three look like the three wise men.

This film plays like a retarded mix of bad Police Academy rip-offs with Saturday Disney music to tell you when something is funny, and one liners that will put you to sleep faster than anaesthesia. Any comedic set-up in this film is a lazy, poorly executed rehash of something done before, simply padding out an already stupendously thin plot with recognisable jokes that have been done better many times before. The writing is aimed at low-brow, ‘blue-collar,' and doesn't even get that right. Blue collar doesn't mean stupid, and characters this half-assed are going to off-put many from the first scene. They are unoriginal, ill-informed, unfunny, and completely un-relatable. While farcical adventures with ‘unrealistic' characters can be a gas, there at least has to be some believability laid in the foundations of the script. This mess plays like a bunch of drunken wannabes sat around a barbecue, got their dog smashed, and got him to write it. There is no sense of timing, no tact, fall backs on dick and fart jokes galore, and acting that should help them sweep the Razzies next year.

C.B. Harding's direction is hard to critique. Was there direction? Even a comedy needs peaks and valleys through its narrative. But just like the writing, the film's presentation is a colossal mess. Boring camera angles do nothing to aid already poor jokes, B-grade special effects, and set-ups that tell you the punch-line two minutes before it appears do nothing to support that a director was even present. The editing is just as shoddy, with an ‘I did this in my handy-cam' polish... if you would call it polished... I expected to see a star-wipe at any minute.

As far as the three leads go, one can only wonder what they were thinking. Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall, and DJ Qualls are not a trio that fit into the ‘people who think they're funny and aren't' club. All three of these men have made very successful forays into comedy, and shown great skill at it in their own unique ways. So either a lapse in judgement (as Larry has publicly stated the poor box-office was because of Shrek & Spider-man 3 - no, your movie is crap!) or pure, laziness has to have contributed to this major fall from grace. The beautiful Marisol Nichols, the equally funny Keith David, and the always menacing Danny Trejo are all going to be less than thrilled with how they come off in this, as not one second of the film utilising their respective talents.

There is a scene in this film where two of our heroes play skeet-shooting with various possessions of someone who hurt one of them. Take this scene's lead, take the DVD outside, throw it in the air, yell, â"Pull!" and do the world a favour shoot it.


DVD

DVD Details:

Short and sweet, good-natured featurettes of some of the cast attempting to be funny... they do better than in the movie. A weird and out of place mini-biography of Danny Trejo that is not in tone with the rest of the product. But thought seems to have skipped this film anyway, so why not?

Screen formats: Widescreen 1.85:1 Widescreen

Subtitles: English; Spanish; Closed Captioned

Language and Sound: English: Dolby Digital 5.1; English: Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo

Number of discs: - 1 with Slipcase packaging

{pgomakase}

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