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[tab title="Movie Review"]
How does the song go? "Let the bodies hit the . . . BBQ grill?" Because, yep, that's what happens in this seriously demented flick. Are the steaks done already?! Ready. Fire. Aim. This Nail Gun Massacre has been reloaded.
“It is the worst kind of headache,” the distorted voice says, “right between the eyes.” That southern drawl, syphoned through some sort of electronic device in a motorcycle helmet, means that Darth Vader is definitely not behind these killings. Whoever it is, though, is really fucking pissed off . . . and quite handy with a nail gun.
That’s the double-meaning promise uttered in the first kill shot of this tool-based horror flick and, boy, does this film, starring Rocky Patterson and Ron Queen, ever deliver the goods. If it isn’t with the violence then it is with the prolonged butt-thrusts as one couple – before being permanently connected with a tree thanks to the nail gun – bumps uglies again and again against it. Ouch! Ouch! And, again, ouch! Bark and butts are probably not the best of bedmates.
Nail Gun Massacre, made for a buck and a dime I’m sure, might not be Herculean in its final form, but I bet it was a lot of fucking fun to film. Shit this stupid has to have been. Dumb and obnoxiously excessive with the gore, Nail Gun Massacre is my own special Citizen Kane.
With excessive gore and kill scenes that include nails piercing scrotums and the sides of faces, this poorly edited and poorly acted 85-minute festival of rock and schlock ‘em goo is sure to bowl you over. The sheer audacity of it all! Especially if you are a fan of the low-rent classics that are shown on the stickier side of the theater.
With super smexy confessions like “the outdoors turns me on”, this homegrown horror film is all sorts of stupid and sick-minded fun. There are a lot of victims in this deadly rampage, too. The blood is practically gushing from the nearby streams. So many people are killed that it seems no one cares much for a body left in the middle of main street. The cops certainly can’t be bothered with cleaning it up either. How could they when classic lines like, “you want a wiener with your bun?” are being spouted out left and right? {googleads}
Full of hilariously shitty performances and enough shots of topless chicks to fill the Playboy Mansion twice over, Nail Gun Massacre arrives on blu-ray thanks, once again, to the fine tastes of Code Red. The nailing has just begun! But Is it with a hammer and a box of nails? Is that the murder weapon? Because these dumbass cops, bumbling about in the woods and in the town, are shit out of luck when it comes to piecing together all the clues they are given.
Old Lady Bailey’s property, just outside of Seagoville, Texas, seems to be a popular place for the bodies to be dumped. Hmmm. . .
But when the killer – with his (or is it a her?!?!?) visor completely covered in electric tape – starts killing randomly on the side of the road and then more bodies are discovered back in town, well, through everything you think you know about this exploitation flick out the proverbial window. More people are going to die.
Written and directed by Terry Lofton, a stuntman on The Dukes of Hazzard, the bloody shenanigans of Nail Gun Massacre found an audience when it was originally released on VHS. Hilariously awful, the film is still a celebrated slice of shitty filmmaking. So bad it’s great, Nail Gun Massacre lives and breathes again thanks to the cleaned-up image that shines as bright as the gold hearse the killer drives.
Masked by a black helmet and a camouflaged work uniform, the killer’s aim is true. See for yourself in this cult classic that is as horny as a rooster in a Chinese hen house. Truth.
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[tab title="Details"]
MPAA Rating: R.
Runtime: 85 mins
Director: Bill Leslie, Terry Lofton
Writer: Terry Lofton
Cast: Rocky Patterson, Ron Queen, Beau Leland
Genre: Horror
Tagline: Who will get nailed next?
Memorable Movie Quote: "What do you think? Those are the worst headaches... the ones between the eyes?"
Theatrical Distributor:
Official Site:
Release Date:
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date: April 26, 2014
Synopsis: In a small Texas town, the peaceful atmosphere is shattered when a beautiful young woman is the victim of a savage sexual assault by a gang of construction workers. Shortly after this horrific event, a masked killer begins a blood-drenched killing spree with the help of a pneumatic nail gun. Victims are nailed to trees! Lovers are nailed to each other! As the increasingly mutilated bodies begin to pile up, a local sheriff and the town doctor begin an investigation to solve the deadly crimes before the Nail Gun Killer finishes his gruesome masterpiece of industrial strength horror! Will they be able to stop this wisecracking madman in time, or will they be the last unlucky souls to get nailed? Is anyone safe from this gleeful psychopath's murderous mission?
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[tab title="Blu-ray Review"]
Blu-ray Details:
Home Video Distributor: Code Red DVD
Available on Blu-ray - April 26, 2014
Screen Formats: 1.33:1
Subtitles: None
Audio: English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; single disc
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A
Shot on 16mm, the film looks all sorts of gritty and grizzly. The 1080p image comes with a choice in aspect ratio as a result: 1.78:1 or 1.33:1. Colors aren’t the greatest but the black levels are solid and well-lined. The film uses natural lighting and, as a result, black levels bleed in some scenes – especially for the dusk shoot. There’s nothing noticeable about the fabrics in the jean jackets worn or in the food eaten, but that’s to be expected considering the source material. Nail Gun Massacre is presented with a mono soundtrack.
Supplements:
Commentary:
- None
Special Features:
Loaded with great supplementals, this release is a party for genre buffs.
- Nail Gun Massacre Shooting Locations
- Nail Gun Massacre at the Alamo Drafthouse
- Joe Bob Briggs Interviews the Cast at Texas Frightmare Weekend
- An Interview with Terry Lofton
- Interview with Soundtrack Composer Whitney Thomas
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