Movie Reviews

Details: Created: 20 January 2020; Written by Christopher Symonds

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The last decade of the 20th Century in movies saw the pinnacle of star-powered excess-driven extravaganzas peak with Kevin Costner’s Waterworld. One of the biggest stars in the world, at the time, he could write his own ticket, dictate all terms, and will anything he wanted into existence. That ...

Details: Created: 19 January 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Kitty’s back on the cell block! Woot! Woot! Let the sweat-dripping orgies begin! Violence in a Women’s Prison, originally released in 1982, is a damn ugly exploitation flick. Even when you lower the bar when it comes to Women in Prison flicks, this ...

Details: Created: 11 October 2019; Written by Frank Wilkins

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Rarely does conventional wisdom hold in Hollywood. Particularly with regards to the notion that less is more and that simplicity is superior to elaborate embellishment. Take, for instance Jerry Bruckheimer, the titan of TNT, who subscribes to the theory that if a candle is needed ...

Details: Created: 13 January 2020; Written by Loron Hays

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The Golem's not headed your way, Willie. The Golem has arrived!A beloved animated project - with some fans still clamoring for a live action movie version - is back on store shelves! Batman Beyond, containing all three seasons of the cult classic and its movie finale, has landed on ...

Details: Created: 28 May 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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You say want sex and violence? Well, the Masked Mutilator has EXACTLY what you are looking for. Just be respectful because this house parent will definitely kick your ass ...

Details: Created: 15 January 2020; Written by Loron Hays

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Watching wickie Ephraim Winslow, who is already having visions of mermaids and tentacled monsters, fly into a momentary fit of rage, grab a one-eyed seagull, and then beat it religiously against a cistern until it is beyond dead might be one of the most memorable scenes in The Lighthouse, a ...

Details: Created: 15 January 2020; Written by Christopher Symonds

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2004’s Hellboy was a well-received if unspectacular performer at the box office, and the studios were not in a hurry to spend on another one. Undeterred, Guillermo Del Toro pressed on pitching various iterations of what could be the follow up. Oh, and since he had some time to kill ...

Details: Created: 09 January 2020; Written by Loron Hays

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Finally. With this Collector’s Edition from Scream Factory, a long-requested top 10 horror film arrives on blu-ray with a cleaned-up transfer and NEW supplemental items. ...

Details: Created: 13 January 2020; Written by Michelle Duy

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Movies like Miracles from Heaven and Heaven Is for Real tell allegedly true stories of divine intervention. The latest such movie is 2019’s Breakthrough. About four years ago in Missouri, teenager John Smith (Marcel Ruiz) fell through the ice of a frozen lake. After 15 minutes underwater he clinically died. But when ...

Details: Created: 09 January 2020; Written by Loron Hays

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A tiny horse. One mad scientist. And a really big wrench. These are only part of the gonzo territory of Ernest R. Schoedsack and Merrian C. Cooper’s shrink ray-centered tale of B-grade science and terror. Dr. Cyclops and the obsession with shrinking things lives on! The heroes ...

Details: Created: 12 January 2020; Written by Loron Hays

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Somewhere in Colts Neck, New Jersey there sets a horse farm owned by Bruce Springsteen. And on those 378 acres there is a two-story barn which, on certain nights, doubles as a performance area for Springsteen, his wife Patti Scialfa, and some close friends. The voices coming out from ...

Details: Created: 30 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Satanism and switchblade violins make quite the combination in this blast from the past! Luigi Cozzi’s Paganini Horror probably shouldn’t exist. Sure, sure, I mean, the film does have some merit thanks to its wicked premise, but its execution - amounting to a bunch of screaming (mostly) female rock and ...

Details: Created: 13 January 2020; Written by Christopher Symonds

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Tenacious is the first word that comes to mind when thinking of Sylvester Stallone. He was once one of the highest-paid and most successful actors in cinema’s history, and, like most, has had his fair share of career highlights and—lets be kind—lulls. ...

Details: Created: 04 October 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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Joker was frightening proposition for this reviewer, who has been a lifelong Batman fanatic. Firstly because it presumed to make the focus of its narrative on one of the greatest antagonists in storytelling history, without the hero; secondly because it wasn’t going to stick with ...

Details: Created: 28 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Murders in the Rue Morgue was a gift to Bela Lugosi. After being axed from Frankenstein, Universal Pictures’ President Carl Laemmle Jr. offered him the role of the lunatic scientist who abducts women and then injects them with the blood of his pet ape, Erik (performed by Charles Gemora). Lugosi, not willing ...

Details: Created: 05 September 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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When Stephen King’s doorstop novel was adapted for TV in the 90’s, it accomplished what shouldn’t have been possible. King’s novel is a behemoth tome, with dozens of characters, and was one of his truly graphic forays into the horror genre for ...

Details: Created: 27 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Teen Titans, GO! The pseudo-anime style. The jokes. And, man, the storylines. Teen Titans has it all! This cartoon series - with a cast of superhero characters that included Robin, Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven - kicked all sorts of ass during its original three year run. Now, thanks to ...

Details: Created: 20 December 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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There are touchstone pictures that transcend any generation, no matter when they were born, that fall under the MUST WATCH category. They are masterpieces. Films like Citizen Kane, The Maltese Falcon, Treasure of Sierra Madre, (I know! Bogart nut) it doesn’t matter. If you are a film aficionado, a general viewer, a ...

Details: Created: 26 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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More thrills and even more chills! Karloff. Lugosi. Rathbone. And Vincent Price in his film debut. What’s not to love about these names or their film legacies? Absolutely nothing at all and the proof is Scream Factory's new 2K scanned release of the films that make up the ...

Details: Created: 20 September 2019; Written by Frank Wilkins

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Polish the silver, set out the good china, and put a kettle on. The Crawleys are back! Fans of the popular PBS television series that aired for six seasons can once again spend a little time at the sprawling English countryside estate as the film version of Downton Abbey finally hits theaters. And even ...

Details: Created: 22 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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And this is why you do NOT overdo it with peanut butter. Thank God we can all learn from Michael’s (Matthew Mackay) messy misadventures with a lot of gooey crap and way too much peanut butter. If David Lynch made a children’s movie, it is no stretch of the imagination to suggest that it ...

Details: Created: 18 December 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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The Bourne series is currently five films in (as of the writing of this article) and had definitively made its mark in the action/spy genre. In a perfect storm of confluences, it hit its mark with an audience desperate to break with convention and be given something unseen in the ...

Details: Created: 02 December 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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Misery is just about this reviewer’s favorite Stephen King adaptation. Its director, Rob Reiner, was the only one entrusted with that adaptation because the author knew the director would adapt it well. The reason that King knew he would adapt it well ...

Details: Created: 10 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Containing one of the most sickening and shocking unveiling scenes in horror history, Kurt Nuemann’s The Fly lands on Blu-ray this week alongside the other Fly-inspired movies. I’m talking The Return of The Fly, The Curse of The Fly, David Cronenberg’s The Fly, and The Fly II from ...

Details: Created: 25 November 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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The first time I heard the name Mike Mignola was after I received a set of his Topps comic adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. As a lifelong comic reader, I’m ashamed to say I’d missed his ...

Details: Created: 08 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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“1, 2, 3 . . . we may be trapped.” - Jack Burton. Truck driver Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is having a real lucky day upon arriving in downtown San Francisco. He’s winning every single card game and now, thanks to his friend Wang Chi (Dennis Dun), he’s just doubled his ...

Details: Created: 20 November 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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I don’t cry in movies. It’s just not my way. But I have to confess that twenty years ago, upon sitting down to watch Steven Speilberg’s World War II magnum opus, the recreation of the Normandy invasion put a lump in my throat and fogged my eyes with tears for its ...

Details: Created: 01 December 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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Eighteen annual conventions later, the championed crew of the NSEA Protector reunite for their greatest and realest adventure yet! Lampooning Star Trek and its loyal fanbase involves applying a delicate touch. Being damn successful at it and ALSO ...

Details: Created: 20 November 2019; Written by Christopher Symonds

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Pixar never cease to surprise me. On the sole summary of one of their stories, I almost never get a sense of just how much I may fall in love with whatever they’re dishing out. Toy Story, The Incredibles, Coco, you name it, I’ve underestimated their power to completely ...

Details: Created: 29 November 2019; Written by Loron Hays

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“Dead or alive, you are coming with me.” When I first heard those words coming out from the lips of RoboCop (Peter Weller), I was hooked. Instantly. There was no looking back for this fat kid: RoboCop, making its debut in 1987, would be my summertime jam. The film might have ...

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