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Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers - Movie Review

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Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers

Prepare yourselves, Cine-freaks and geeks.  A frighteningly funny horror/comedy has arrived on the quarantined scene and, with its crazy ‘80s aesthetic and killer quick edits, Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers gets the work of slaughtering the supernatural done with hilarious and oh so bloody results.

"Completely ridiculous and full of GONZO greatness, this horror/comedy is EXACTLY what the world needs: proper escapism to tickle the funny bone."


 

It’s not everyone who can wear getting discharged from the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a two by four like a badge of honor.  But Philip “Hawk” Hawkins (writer/director Ryan Barton Grimley) does.  He’s currently living in his parent’s backyard and has to break in to get coffee.  That’s how badly he’s sunk, but his frustration at getting kicked out of his parent’s house is no match for the vegan pacifist-ic ways of his best bud, Revson "Rev" McCabe (Ari Schneider), whose dimwitted methods try to calm him down.

While their chemistry together is pitch-perfect, the beach-side meditation of Rev’s doesn’t work and Hawk’s desire to kill everything and everyone goes to work with him.  Hell, even nunsploitation porn doesn’t ease his mind.  Does it bother Hawk that he’s now working as a night security guard?  Yes, but only because he’s bored and, well, there are undead pieces of garbage out there to slay and when he spots some filthy ass vampires at the warehouse, he calls the only person who “gets” him.

And then he calls the police and makes an ass of himself.  We don’t mind, though, because this hilarity is non-stop and extremely addictive.

With a great sense of comedic situations, timing and conversations, Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers takes killing vampires to a whole new level.  It never once takes itself seriously - which is a good thing because this tone is absolutely LIT - as Hawk calls Rev again to say the same thing: there are vampires nearby!

But even Rev has his limits . . . or does he?  When the two team up, a round of Chinese martial arts is definitely NOT on their itinerary.  They’ve got gimps on leashes and vampires to kill.  They just need the proper weapons, outfits, and attitudes.Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers

This team of mismatched imbeciles needs to cleanse the world of all blood suckers and I don’t mind at all.  Call me crazy.  Call me whatever you want, but it is my firm belief that the world is in desperate need of writer/director Ryan Barton Grimley’s Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers, a twisted take on supernatural blood-shedding.

Grimley’s hilarious Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers will play at the Dances with Films film festival in Los Angeles, being the midnight movie on the opening and closing night of the festival. It will play August 28 and September 5 and be on VOD in October of next year.  The film co-stars Jana Savage and Richard Gayler.

Get those sweaty head and wristbands ready, Horror Hounds and Gore-Gore Girls!   It's time to gear up for the gore that's about to rain down.  There are hordes of blood-thirsty vampires descending upon Santa Muerte, California and only these two goofballs have a chance at conquering their particular brand of fanged evil.  Completely ridiculous and full of GONZO greatness, this horror/comedy is EXACTLY what the world needs: proper escapism to tickle the funny bone.

Hi-ya!

4/5 stars

Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers

Blu-ray

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Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers

MPAA Rating: Unrated.
Runtime:

Director
: Ryan Barton-Grimley
Writer:
Ryan Barton-Grimley
Cast:
Ryan Barton-Grimley, Ari Schneider, Jana Savage
Genre
: Comedy | Horror
Tagline:
Vampires are a disease... Meet the cure.
Memorable Movie Quote: "I just saw some filthy-ass vampires."
Theatrical Distributor:
October Coast
Official Site: https://www.hawkandrev.com/
Release Date:
September 5, 2010
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:

Synopsis: Philip "HAWK" Hawkins doesn't just dream about killing vampires - He eats, sleeps, drinks and freakin' breaths it. After getting kicked out the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a blunt two by four, Hawk almost dies of boredom working as a night security guard in his hometown of Santa Muerte, California - USA. Just when it looks like all Hawk's options in life have expired, filthy blood-sucking vampires appear and of course - Nobody freakin' believes him. With his back up against the wall, his sweaty Karate Kid headband on and hordes of murderous vampires closing in, Hawk enlists the help of the one person who kind of believes him - Revson "REV" McCabe, a dimwitted, vegan-pacifist groundskeeper. Together they join forces to save the whole entire freakin' world. Well, at least their hometown anyway.

Hawk & Rev: Vampire Slayers

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