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Cupid - Movie Review

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Cupid

We’ve all been in love.  Some of us fall out of love and, sometimes, we are the ones who get dumped.  For all of these situations, we blame Cupid’s heart-piercing arrows. The poor guy can’t catch a break.  But do you know the “real” story behind Cupid’s rise and his descent? Writer/director Scott Jeffrey does and, this Valentine’s Day, he wants to share it with you!

"Death by a bouquet of roses? Valentine’s Day cards thrown like ninja stars?  Yes, please! "


Cupid is not a love story.  This tale of revenge has Cupid (portrayed in grotesque make-up by Bao Tieu) seeking revenge for those who summon him.  He’s on a mission to destroy all those who do love wrong and, with one straight and bloody arrow after another, he’s out to pay debts with gallons and gallons of fleshy hearts ripped out of still warm bodies.

A movie as ridiculous sounding as this one needs to have the right atmosphere.  The beginning scene - in which a recently divorced Dad is confronted by his distressed daughter over the divorce - amplifies the ridiculousness of this horror flick and delivers a promising and very comedic gory time.  You might howl with laughter as a very deranged-looking Cupid, almost as if he is a member of Marilyn Manson, slings arrows at them from above. 

Unfortunately, this sequence - which, ultimately, has the daughter and the father running for their lives as that demonic cupid lands on the ground to rip their hearts out - is as good as it gets for the next 30-minutes in this bloody offering from Uncork’d Entertainment.  Stay tuned, though, because all is not lost.  Cupid and his kills will return.

Because, all too quickly, we are thrust into your typical high school setting with “mean girls” and crushes on teachers as one practicing teenage witch finds herself needing to summon Cupid in order to seek revenge.  She does it in an empty classroom . . . with candles that she carries with her in her backpack. Talk about practical magic!!! 

Simply put, we didn’t need to go a long time without our demonic cupid out killing simple-minded plebeians.  

Led by Elsie (Sarah T. Cohen), the "Mean Girls" brigade in this horror flick play a nasty prank on poor Faye (Georgina Jane) and her teacher, Mr. Jones (Michael Owusu) thanks to a lost smartphone.  With no one to turn to, Faye reaches toward her trusty book of black magic and unleashes a hellfire of arrows on not just the troupe, but on everyone in the school. End all love! The bullied become the bully this Valentine’s Day.Cupid

Thing is, once Cupid is summoned, the fun and blood and the goofy kills return, too.  That’s why you keep watching this one, folks. Death by a bouquet of roses? Valentine’s Day cards thrown like ninja stars?  Yes, please! How about heart-shaped cookie cutters being slammed into the flesh over and over again? Or an arrow through a bathroom stall?  The kills - arriving at the 40-minute mark - save this title from its ultra-serious vibe and finally deliver on the premise sewn into this cheesy horror title.

Produced by Jeffrey and Rebecca Matthews (Pet Graveyard), Cupid will be released on DVD and Digital February 11 from Uncork’d Entertainment.

This Valentine's Day, Cupid is shooting straight for the heart. 

3/5 stars

Cupid

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor:
Available on Blu-ray

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cupid

MPAA Rating: Unrated.
Runtime:
83 mins
Director
: Scott Jeffrey
Writer:
Scott Jeffrey
Cast:
Georgina Jane, Michael Owusu, Abi Casson Thompson
Genre
: Horror
Tagline:
Everyone knows the legend of Cupid.. But do they know his dark side?
Memorable Movie Quote:
Distributor:
Uncork'd Entertainment
Official Site:
Release Date:
February 11, 2020
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:

Synopsis: Everyone knows the legend of Cupid.. But do they know his dark side?

cupid

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