Reel Reviews - Official Site

With his latest film called Glass, filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan, has actually managed to pull the rug out from under us yet again with one of his biggest and most amazing twists to date. I’m not kidding here, folks. This one is a doozy. ...

Read more: Glass (2019) - Blu-ray Review

Malibu Express (1985)

5 Beers

Andy Sidaris, I love you.  Next to Roger Corman, Jack Hill, and William Castle, you make the kind of BADASS movies that MUST BE experienced.  From the “HUBBA-HUBBA” to the “HELL YEAH!”, you had the 1980s cinematic meat market covered in bikinis and statche cream and God bless you for it, man, but few of your films compare to the sheer bawdry brilliance of Malibu Express.

Starting with a woman typing at a keyboard with really long red fingernails, Malibu Express – produced, directed, and written by Andy Sidaris – might just be the tone-deaf winner of ’85 when it comes to introductions.  The big-haired woman – in heavy makeup – types at a computer’s keyboard the opening credits as a country and western song, complete with harmonica, plays in the background. 

If tears aren’t already streaming down your face thanks to the EXTREME close-ups on her eyes, then the next scene – in which our hero, Cody Abilene (a hilariously plain Darby Hinton), pulls up to a firing range with a cow-skinned gun case but can’t shoot straight, definitely will.  Co-starring Sybil Danning, Lori Sutton, Art Metrano, this hilarious action adventure – full of men with bodies that are lethal weapons – also features nice long looks at Playboy Playmates Kimberly McArthur, Barbara Edwards, Lorraine Michaels, and Lynda Wiesmeier.

And Malibu Express, thanks to some cheesy narration from Hinton and a series of gratuitous shots of tits and asses, is only getting started with its moustached machismo and hair-sprayed hilarity.  And, thanks to a new partnership between Sidaris and Mill Creek Entertainment, the cult classic (because is there any other way to describe this cowboy-turned-spy caper in which Mr. Abilene checks out a whole bunch of private parts as he investigates a Russian plot to steal data and secrets from America. 

Abilene wines and dines the ladies, young and old, and begs for water during his passionate lovemaking . . . and it is all for the country he loves.  Cue the Playboy Magazine song because, damn, if this flick isn’t loaded with centerfold ladies and the song, which gets stuck on repeat as Abilene dodges crazy country cousins, races his untagged red DeLorean, and tracks down Russian spies.

Part Magnum P.I. and part Dukes of Hazard, Malibu Express is all empty-headed Private Investigation tawdry charm.  The one-liners in this flick are non-stop and full of lowbrow humor involving eating carpet in jail, working out, and just having some stupid fun.  Oh, yeah, and there’s that inconsequential plot drifting in and out of focus.  Who cares about Russian spies, though? 

So, climb in the DeLorean and go racing back in time with this big-hatted Texan as he woes the ladies and catches the bad guys.  It’s the 1980s and yuppies are everywhere taking every drug and doing everyone.  Someone has to stand up to them, right?  Or at least bed them all and leave them quaking for more and more of Cody Abilene.

It’s shower time!  Malibu Express has arrived on blu-ray thanks to a widescreen 4K restoration from Mill Creek Entertainment. 

Blu-ray Specifications:

Mill Creek Entertainment finally brings the good with this campy title.  Presented in a crisp 1080p transfer, the new 4k scan of the original negative is a thing of pristine beauty.  The film is dominated with reds and greens that absolutely burst with color.  It’s a cheap film, for sure, but the simple backgrounds burst with new details and a nice level of clarity.  Black levels are solid and skin tones are natural.  Shadows are defined and the film has a new depth previously unseen.  Audio wise, the DTS-HD MA 2.0 mono soundtrack is clear and the dialogue is never lost or hard to hear.

Commentary:

Director Andy Sidaris and his wife Arlene give fans the commentary they deserve.  Hilarious and over the top, this one is definitely for fans of the movie!

Special Features:

Mill Creek and Andy Sidaris give fans a treat with this release.  Fans get old-school trailers, a NEW making-of featurette, a commentary track, and a digital copy code.  There is also a newly-filmed introduction with Andy Sidaris, John Brown, and Julie Strain and then it is cut off before it concludes.  Hilarious.

Intro (2 min)

NEW Behind the Scenes (44 min)

Malibu Bay Trailers

M. Night Shyamalan is responsible for one of the most brilliant supernatural thrillers, and one of the most impressive cinematic twists in film history: The Sixth Sense. That film established him as a wunderkind filmmaker and immediately  ...

Read more: Glass (2019) - Blu-ray Review 2

Completely mad.  Absolutely bonkers.  Those are some descriptions that are often used to describe this New Age-inspired flick of voodoo hoodoo transmissions.  The Manitou is EXACTLY the pile of rock and schlock trash that you want it to be and now, thanks to Scream ...

Read more: The Manitou (1978) - Blu-ray Review

The greatest thing that ever happened to the Transformers movie franchise was Michael Bay’s departure.  Fact.  Let the reboot begin!  Bumblebee has arrived and it, operating as a prequel (or as like to consider it: THE ONLY TRANSFORMERS LIVE-ACTION FILM), ushers in a  ...

Read more: Bumblebee (2018) - Blu-ray Review

“Isn’t it gorgeous, babe?!”  That’s the pervading sentiment in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, a bleach-blonde action flick in which hot babes do their best thinking in Jacuzzis and, after insulting a bunch of horny men, start kicking lots of ass  ...

Read more: Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) - Blu-ray Review

In order to fully appreciate just how CRAZY Aquaman is, I suggest you being four or five beers deep.  Seriously. DC needs James Wan.  The proof is just how enjoyably bonkers Aquaman is, which Wan directed.  Finally free from the brooding destruction of Zach Snyder’s spin on   ...

Read more: Aquaman (2018) - Blu-ray Review

Clash, Killer Fist!  A legend has returned. If you are not yet one with the madness that is the martial arts film, then let this release be your starting point.  Why?  Because from the years of 1973 to 1976, at the height of the martial arts movie and its influence of sheer insanity and nastiness  ...

Read more: The Street Fighter Collection (1974) - Blu-ray Review

Long thought untouchable for theatrical adaptation due to its tenuous structure and ethereal nature, author James Baldwin’s novel If Beale Street Could Talk gets the big screen treatment from Moonlight writer/director Barry Jenkins. And what a perfect combination ...

Read more: If Beale Street Could Talk - Blu-ray Review

Being the ninth and final film in Hammer’s Dracula series, The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires definitely holds a special place in horror history.  That’s not the limit of its legacy, though.  Not by a longshot ...

Read more: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) - Blu-ray Review

There is something very honorable in modesty and not needing to always take credit for the joy one gives to those we love. The gallantry of self-sacrifice and doing for others quite often speaks for itself and doesn’t need the “hey, look at me” arrogance so prevalent in today’s  ...

Read more: Mary Poppins Returns - Blu-ray Review

"I got my beer, I got my sex partner, what else do I need?” Blood Lake continues to exist because we all want to be like Little Tony. Fight me if you disagree. Having a camcorder doesn’t necessarily make you a horror film director.  The same can be said ...

Read more: Blood Lake (1987) - DVD Review

Slaughterhouse.  Four Eyes.  Know those names.  Clocking in at 86-minutes of sweat- inducing space madness, Crossbreed will straight up kick your ass.  No, it isn’t another exercise craze with fancy names for pull-ups and squat thrusts.  Crossbreed, directed by Brandon  ...

Read more: Crossbreed (2019) - Blu-ray Review

Before Resident Evil, there was Warning Sign.  Complete with an impressive synth score from Craig Safan, this thriller absolutely rocks and serves as the precursor to what would come in a lot of biohazard-themed flicks a decade AFTER its initial release ...

Read more: Warning Sign (1985) - Blu-ray Review

The American Ministry of Magic just got stronger.  It had to, of course.  The dark magic of Gellert Grindelwald (a fantastically evil Johnny Depp) is that powerful.  Opening with a flying stagecoach sequence, complete with winged horses and a sky-high jailbreak sequence ...

Read more: Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) - Blu-ray Review

“God, I love the desert!”  This is what is loudly proclaimed by the Sunday school teacher who is sitting squarely at the center of Murderlust.  Steve Belmont (Eli Rich) is a pathetic human being.  As a Sunday school teacher, he uses his post to ensnare pretty young women  ...

Read more: Murderlust (1985) - DVD Review

This country’s opioid crisis is hitting Hollywood in a big way of late as a couple of new films dealing with opioid addiction have released in cinemas recently. It is sad – and a bit ironic – that a devastating societal meltdown has become such lucrative fodder for the industry’s  ...

Read more: Ben is Back (2018) - Blu-ray Review

When I was a young fool, my go-to movie was Forest Gump.  I think I saw that damn film at least NINE times in the theater.  I was graduating high school and leaving for college and that film just resonated with me.  I was also lovesick and a complete idiot about it.  This review  ...

Read more: The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then The Bigfoot (2018) - Blu-ray Review

Yo!  Creed II, after a three year wait, has arrived and fans of Creed and the ongoing Rocky series will certainly be pleased with the final product.  Its physical brutality is matched with each and every emotion presented on the screen.  You will pump your fists and get teary  ...

Read more: Creed II (2018) - Blu-ray Review

You ever wish there was more of you to go around?  Feel completely wiped out at the end of the day?  Willing to only stuff your face with one slice of pizza too many when you get home?  If so, Sony and Columbia Pictures have the comedy for you ...

Read more: Multiplicity (1993) - Blu-ray Review

There are few people in the world who don’t know the name Freddie Mercury, whether you’re a fan of Queen, born after he died, or have lived in a cave forever. As someone born the same year as one of Queen’s greatest hits, the title of this movie, it’s seems impossible  ...

Read more: Bohemian Rhapsody - Blu-ray Review

A baboon’s heart, hockey, and one hell of a sweet story.  That’s what you STILL get with Untamed Heart, now making its blu-ray debut  Caroline (Marisa Tomei) has too good of a heart.  So say her friends.  And, judging by how happy she is to ...

Read more: Untamed Heart (1993) - Blu-ray Review

Kitty’s back on the cell block!  Woot! Woot!  Let the sweat-dripping orgies begin! Violence in a Women’s Prison, originally released in 1982, is a damn ugly exploitation flick. Even when you lower the bar when it comes to Women in Prison flicks, this ...

Read more: Violence in a Women's Prison (1982) - Blu-ray Review

There is a darkness beneath the sky here.  Two figures are sleeping next to a campfire.  One snores and the other, with his mouth open, finds himself prey to something far more than loud noises.  A spider.  After sneaking up his body, this big bodied arachnoid falls into the sleeping  ...

Read more: The Sisters Brothers (2018) - Blu-ray Review

Mesmerizing pulp fiction.  There simply is no other way to describe the powerful impact of Detour, a low budget gem from Poverty Row Pictures. Truthfully, the movie shouldn’t work as well at it does ...

Read more: Detour: The Criterion Collection (1945) - Blu-ray Review

In film, mass audience appeal and brains rarely ever go together. Just ask Paul Blart. Yet, with his heist thriller Widows, filmmaker Steve McQueen proves that it is actually possible to make an intelligent film that is also appealing to a wide audience ...

Read more: Widows (2018) - Blu-ray Review

Val Lewton, making 1940s B-flicks look nothing like other horror films of the 1940s, is a certifiable genius of the cinema.  His ability to plunge audiences straight into nightmares is uncanny.  Madness and death, there’s our recurring fear factor in   ...

Read more: The Body Snatcher (1946) - Blu-ray Review

Throughout A Star is Born, Bradley Cooper’s character growls out the lyrics “Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die” with a crooning intimacy that lays the familiar groundwork for what’s at play in his film about two stars passing in the night; one fading away, the other  ...

Read more: A Star is Born - Blu-ray Review

Still considered today to be one of Harold Lloyd’s finest films, The Kid Brother makes its debut on blu-ray thanks to the the Criterion Collection.  It is, of course, one of Lloyd’s sweetest and funniest films, with more sight gags than his others, in which Lloyd plays Harold Hickory ...

Read more: The Kid Brother: The Criterion Collection (1927) - Blu-ray Review

Perhaps the only task more difficult than putting a man on the moon and returning him safely to Earth is making an interesting film about the rather uninteresting man who first set foot on the lunar surface. Yet Damien Chazelle (La La Land) does just that with his First  ...

Read more: First Man (2018) - Blu-ray Review