Home Video

Geostorm (2017) - Blu-ray Review

  • Movie Review

  • Details

  • Blu-ray Review

  • Trailer

  • Art

geostorm - Blu-ray Review

1 starTsunamis.  Hurricanes.  Firenados?  Well, alrighty then.  This is the largely uninspired world of Geostorm, a movie that phones in more than just a series of sad performances all trapped within the pages of a story that appears to have been written by a teenager who lets the plot and the dialogue mindlessly write itself. 

Geostorm, unfortunately, has little staying power.  I dare you to not quit it.  I mean, this dud is not even of a “so bad, it’s good” quality.  The sad truth is that this mindless flick is far too big a pile of poop to EVER be considered worthy of a cult status.

Everyone was warned.  No one listened.  That’s how Geostorm begins.  Hell, even I was warned.  This is not a good movie, man.  Skip it.  Well, I didn’t and I can’t say that it was worth the time.  I laughed a bit.  I cried, too.  Mainly, though, I just felt myself age and groan thanks to its overlong presentation. 

Essentially, this film is in love with blowing shit up; including itself.

Writer/director Dean Devlin (Leverage, The Librarians) might not be best known for his science-minded narratives (he produced Independence Day, after all), but he does manage to create entertaining television shows – even if they aren’t very smooth going down. 

Somehow, with this tale of global destruction, he completely missed the mark in telling a story worth sitting through.  Everything feels routine and uninspired and that fact is echoed by some seriously shitty performances from the cast. 

Even if the science and the storms are completely whacked, the narrative is solid gold when it comes to exploitation of the film’s subject of unexpected and completely twisted weather phenomenon.  Eggs fry on the streets of Hong Kong.  Within seconds, buildings are falling against one another thanks to, according to the news, gas line explosions.  It shouldn’t suck the way it does.

But the actors kill any chance this had to be entertaining.  It appears, considering the results, that not even Devlin knew he was actually shooting a comedy.  The SyFy Channel would have done this better.  Hell, even The Asylum could have made this crap work better than it does here.

Remember that firenado springing up from the sewers of Hong Kong?  It’s all happening because one jerk is purposefully malfunctioning climate-controlling satellites to muck up the world’s weather patterns.  A Geostorm, a cataclysmic global weather event, is coming and it will rain hell upon everyone’s CGI self.

Geostorm, even in its ugly moments, sure looks pretty until even the effects threaten to drown this flick.  The effects are glossy and rendered with a CGI smoothness that almost makes you forget just how incredibly wasted this talented ensemble – featuring by-the-book performances from Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Ed Harris, Abbie Cornish, Richard Schiff, Alexandra Maria Lara, Robert Sheehan, Daniel Wu, Eugenio Derbez, and Andy García – is with its syrupy shtick and cartoon conundrums. 

The grudges being held – especially by the two brothers who have no choice but to work together to save the planet – are telescoped from the very beginning.  They aren’t the only ones either and, as a result, there are no surprises for any of the characters.  Conflict is everywhere and no one is very likable. 

Even the danger of a malfunctioning satellite within the space station comes off as, well, rather lame.  And the C-grade acting, because everyone is not on the same page when it comes to tone, is awash – just like the deserts in this flick – with inconsistencies. 

Danger, Will Robinson!  Even the spacesuits inexplicably malfunction in this exercise of sheer lunar lunacy.  Geostorm crashes onto blu-ray thanks to this Blu-ray/DVD combo from Warner Bros.  Don’t even act like you care about this one.

geostorm - Blu-ray Review

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for destruction, action and violence.
Runtime:
109 mins
Director
: Dean Devlin
Writer:
Dean Devlin, Paul Guyot
Cast:
Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish
Genre
: Action | Sci-fi
Tagline:
Surf's up... WAY up.
Memorable Movie Quote: "You Call It Genocide... I call It pre-emptive strike."
Theatrical Distributor:
Warner Bros.
Official Site: www.geostorm.movie/
Release Date:
October 20, 2017
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
Own it early on Digital on January 16; blu-ray debuts January 23, 2018
Synopsis: After an unprecedented series of natural disasters threatened the planet, the world’s leaders came together to create an intricate network of satellites to control the global climate and keep everyone safe. But now, something has gone wrong—the system built to protect the Earth is attacking it, and it’s a race against the clock to uncover the real threat before a worldwide geostorm wipes out everything...and everyone along with it.

geostorm - Blu-ray Review

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor: Warner Bros
Available on Blu-ray
- January 23, 2018
Screen Formats: 2.40:1
Subtitles
: English SDH, French, Portuguese, Spanish
Audio:
English: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1; French (Canada): Dolby Digital 5.1; Spanish: Dolby Digital 5.1; Portuguese: Dolby Digital 5.1; English: Dolby Digital 5.1
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; Two-disc set (1 BD-50, 1 DVD); Digital copy; Movies Anywhere; DVD copy
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A

Warner Bros presents its mediocre film on 1080p with far better results than expected.  Presented in 2.40:1, the black levels are strong and so are the colors.  Lines remain thick and even and definitions never get murky.  Colors are appropriately saturated, even if a steely blue swaddles the release with moody hues. Primaries are never bold, but that is by design which amps up the cold and unnerving aspect of the film.  At times, the CGI gets a little gamey and goes overboard with its cartoon weather threats.  The English 5.1 DTS-HD MA is a feast for the senses.

Supplements:

Commentary:

  • None

Special Features:

Brief featurettes rule the day on this release.  We get one on crazy weather patterns, one on the basis for the idea of the movie, and a final one on the international cast of the movie.  A DVD and Digital Copy of the movie is also included.

  • Wreaking Havoc (6 min)
  • The Search For Answers (4 min)
  • An International Event (6 min)

geostorm - Blu-ray Review

Movie Reviews

Our Tweets

 

You are here: Home Home Video Geostorm (2017) - Blu-ray Review
Follow us on Twitter
Like us on Facebook
Google+
Letterboxd
Find us on Rotten Tomatoes