Stand By Me (1986)Misery is just about this reviewer’s favorite Stephen King adaptation. Its director, Rob Reiner, was the only one entrusted with that adaptation because the author knew the director would adapt it well. The reason that King knew he would adapt it well ...

Masked Mutilator - Blu-rayYou say want sex and violence?  Well, the Masked Mutilator has EXACTLY what you are looking for.  Just be respectful because this house parent will definitely kick your ass ...

Hellboy (2004) The first time I heard the name Mike Mignola was after I received a set of his Topps comic adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. As a lifelong comic reader, I’m ashamed to say I’d missed his ...

Galaxy QuestEighteen annual conventions later, the championed crew of the NSEA Protector reunite for their greatest and realest adventure yet! Lampooning Star Trek and its loyal fanbase involves applying a delicate touch.  Being damn successful at it and ALSO ...

Violence in a Women's Prison (1982) - Blu-ray Review

Kitty’s back on the cell block!  Woot! Woot!  Let the sweat-dripping orgies begin! Violence in a Women’s Prison, originally released in 1982, is a damn ugly exploitation flick. Even when you lower the bar when it comes to Women in Prison flicks, this ...

Saving Private RyanI don’t cry in movies. It’s just not my way. But I have to confess that twenty years ago, upon sitting down to watch Steven Speilberg’s World War II magnum opus, the recreation of the Normandy invasion put a lump in my throat and fogged my eyes with tears for its ...

Robocop (1987)

“Dead or alive, you are coming with me.” When I first heard those words coming out from the lips of RoboCop (Peter Weller), I was hooked.  Instantly.  There was no looking back for this fat kid: RoboCop, making its debut in 1987, would be my summertime jam.  The film might have ...

RatatouillePixar never cease to surprise me. On the sole summary of one of their stories, I almost never get a sense of just how much I may fall in love with whatever they’re dishing out. Toy Story, The Incredibles, Coco, you name it, I’ve underestimated their power to completely ...

Heathers (1988)f you really want to understand Generation X, you should probably watch Heathers.  From the satire of in-crowds and outsiders to the absolute ridiculousness of blowing up a school in the midwest, that frustration with cliques and institutions is one that most of my generation can ...

The Lion King (2019)Although this isn’t the first of Disney’s attempts to redo their animated back catalogue, I think it had the hardest job. The mastery of motion capture technology and the sophistication that computer generated animation has reached allows them to deliver ...

Thunderbolt and LightfootThe image of Clint Eastood at the front of a congregation of faithful believers has always stuck with me.  That’s how Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, beginning with a very manic George Kennedy arriving to the wilderness church to put a bullet in Eastwood’s skull, begins ...

Scary Stories to Tell in the DarkThere are things you probably know when approaching a scary-looking house that has long been abandoned.  If you have to break a lock in order to get in, then you should probably run in the opposite direction.  Quickly.  The teenagers in this horror film, from producer ...

Rambo-first-blood2For a very long time, I wished that First Blood had been a one and done deal. But it arrived in the 1982, and anything from the 80s onward that made the studios money would like get a sequel with a roman numeral next to it. The remainder of that decade saw ...

Road Games (1981)Butchering babes in motel rooms and burying them alongside the road.  That’s what you get here in this intelligently made thriller from Patrick’s Richard Franklin and smartly-written script from Everett De Roche. ...

Rambo III (1988)Three years would pass before another go around with John Rambo and produce the most (at the time) violent action movie ever made. It marked a continued tonal shift of the character that had good intentions hidden in cartoonish, ham fisted  ...

Blinded By teh LightBruce Springsteen. The name alone creates a number of iconic images. The fist raised in the sky. The bandana. The cut-off sleeves. Asbury Park.The BIG man on the sax. That worn guitar. The cars and the girls. Whatever it is for you, I assure you ...

Rambo (2008)If the last couple of years have taught us anything it should be never underestimate Sylvester Stallone. He was mocked at the beginning of his career and brought us Rocky. His popularity waned in the late 90’s and when word trickled down he was reviving not only his famous ...

Good Boys (2019)One of the kids at the center of the new comedy Good Boys confidently tells his two best friends, “It’s a tampon. Girls shove it up their butts to stop babies from coming out.” The object in question is indeed a tampon, they got that part right. But, of ...

Berserker (1987)No, this title isn’t connected to Silent Bob’s Russian cousin.  You know, the one that kept singing, “BERRRRRSERRRRRRKER!” in Clerks.  That might have improved Berserker greatly.  Instead, we get a killer Viking warrior offing dumbass teenagers in Utah while they dance and listen to some pretty ...

The Peanut Butter Falcon - Movie ReviewFeaturing a special needs character in a film is always a risky proposition that has the potential to cross that fine line between exploitation and exposition. ...

Amityville: The Cursed Collection

Objectified horror has found its home! If you ever find the replicate of the original Amityville house in your garage, but it is pint-sized (as in a dollhouse) leave it the fuck alone.  Don’t touch it.  Don’t bring it into the house.  Burn that fucker to the ground.  Hell, if you ever come in contact with ...

The Blob (1988)What movie? You didn’t tell me about any movie!  The meta is strong in the remake of The Blob.  Too bad this remake often gets ignored because this version gets a lot of things about remakes damn right.  There is a lot to love about this flick and, believe it ...

Una (2017)When Una (Rooney Mara) was 13, her neighbor Ray molested her. They carried on a secret 3-month long relationship, at which point they planned to run away together. But then Ray (Ben Mendelsohn) disappeared. He wound up serving 4 years ...

Satanic Panic Poor Samantha.  It’s tough being a pizza delivery girl.  With little funds and no tips, getting around on her motor scooter can be quite unbelievably tough . . . especially if you happen to be a positive soul who likes to see the good in ...

50 years of Planet of the Apes

‘It’s a mad house! A mad house!’ So it felt to me finding the entire Planet of the Apes cinematic journey in this new mammoth sized 50th anniversary set in the mail. I’ll try to keep the review succinct as there are 5 movies in the original series, the Tim Burton remake and the  ...

Godzilla: The Showa Era Films Blu-rayWhat do bathtub toy boats and plastic helicopters have in common with a dude in a monster suit?  Hint: the action takes place in Japan.  That’s right.  Godzilla, the mother of all mega-monster movies, is returning to run rampage through your home ...

Planet of the Apes Trilogy 4KWe are so spoiled for choice in this day and age that sometimes brilliance and gold that should never be missed can get left in the wake of unending wave of stuff. In a world of remakes, amazing movie magic, remakes of Planet of the Apes are not as instantly well known as ...

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & ShawTimes were so much simpler when the Fast & Furious franchise first got underway back in 2001. The tragic events of 9/11 had not yet complicated our world, $150 million + movie budgets weren't commonplace, and VCR players were the much-coveted electronic  ...

The Human Monster (1939)

It’s the eyes, man! It’s all about the eyes. Béla Lugosi (and those expressive eyebrows of his) definitely created a lot of memorable characters for cinema. He was always chewing the scenery and making each scene his ow; however, in The Human Monster (also known as The Dark Eyes of London) he ...

Parasite (1982)Imagine if the original Alien had been shot for 3-D?  That chest-busting scene would have really leaped right off of the screen.  One has to think that producer and director Charles Band, in his pre-Full Moon days, had been thinking about that ...

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