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Clownado - Movie Review

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Clownado

It’s over the BIG TOP fun when Big Ronnie (John O’Hara)and his Circus of A Thousand Wonders arrives in your town!  Your ass better hightail it for the hills!

Clownado, written and directed by Todd Sheets (Dreaming Purple Neon, Bonehill Road), knows exactly what type of horror film it is and it celebrates that fact with LONG looks at gore as bodies are repeatedly stabbed by clowns and then gutted in front of our eyes with squishy sound effects and the sounds of malicious laughter loops in the background.  Don’t let the goop and gore squirt in your eye!

"So is Clownado creative?  Definitely.  Over the top?  You bet.  Cheap and easy?  Of course, but like anything on a drive-thru menu that’s open 24-hours that’s pretty much the point."


Sometimes funny and often ridiculous, Clownado is made for a certain type of audience.  And, they like their gore as fresh as they like their beers.  With tits that turn into teeth, there will be some who write this film completely off.  The acting might be amateurish, the CGI questionable, but this film is meant to rock your world as a stripper (Dilynn Fawn Harvey), a runaway teen (Sierra Stodden), a black Elvis impersonator (Antwoine Steele) and an all-round badass truck driver (Bobby Westrick) unite to stop the wicked journey of a group of clowns travelling by . . . tornado.

There might not be a serious bone in this B-minded flick.  That’s sorta the point here.  But the gore – especially if you know anything about Sheets and his Fangoria history – is deadly serious and, as expected, practical and very, very, very much not for the squeamish.  Aiding that is O’Hara’s performance as the psychotic Big Ronnie, the ringleader of these killer clowns.  He’s dynamic, over the top, and completely bonkers when it comes to killing and letting his victims suffer.  Some of his side comments will disturb you as people innards are ripped out and squeezed.

But the clowns around him – including a female clown whose tits turn into spikey-toothed mouths – aren’t any easier to digest.  They are all lunatics thanks to a spell that the one-the-run wife of Big Ronnie put on them.  Savanna (Rachel Lagen) wants out of their type of show business.  She turns to a witch known as Autumn Moonspell (porn legend Jeanne Silver) and winds up making things a thousand times worse for her and for ANYONE caught in the path of their twister.

Clownado is a bit of a departure from Sheets’ usual style and tone but, as it operates a bit like an homage to horror films of old, the winking and the nudging along the way to the next massacre is always a bit of a fun – and relative loopy – ride.  Thankfully, the cast knows this material is not to be taken seriously.  Maybe the clown costumes gave it away.  The cast here is aided and abetted by some cool cameos, though, as genre vets Linnea Quigley, Eileen Dietz, and Joel D. Wynkoop also appear in the film. Clownado

With a rocking killer title, Clownado is definitely going to get your attention.  Sustaining that will be where it probably fails.  You have to REALLY like your gore and your guts in order to make it through this tale of clowns gone wild.  Seriously.  I mean this is from the dude whose Shot-On-Video work has brought us the likes of Zombie Bloodbath and Biker Babes from Beyond the Grave.  You shouldn’t go in expecting a masterpiece unless you like to see a man punch straight through another man’s head, a woman’s tits eat a man’s head, or a clown absolutely explode into confetti. 

So is Clownado creative?  Definitely.  Over the top?  You bet.  Cheap and easy?  Of course, but like anything on a drive-thru menu that’s open 24-hours that’s pretty much the point.  Get in.  Get feed. Get hungry again.  The joke here is on you.  Everyone is having fun here on a miniscule budget where camp and cheese reign supreme, so why can’t you?

Slap a smile on your face, sasshole, and enjoy the ride.  Clownado arrives on VOD on September 3rd and on DVD September 17th from Wild Eye Releasing!

3/5 stars

Clownado

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor:
Available on Blu-ray

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Clownado

MPAA Rating: Unrated.
Runtime:

Director
: Todd Sheets
Writer:
Todd Sheets
Cast:
John O'Hara, Rachel Lagen, Bobby Westrick
Genre
: Horror
Tagline:
There's No Shelter From This Storm!
Memorable Movie Quote: "There is one nasty-ass storm headed this way!"
Theatrical Distributor:
Extreme Entertainment
Official Site: https://www.facebook.com/clownado/
Release Date:
VOD September 3 and DVD September 17

Synopsis: Cursed demonic circus clowns set out on a vengeful massacre using tornadoes. A stripper, Elvis impersonator, truck driver, teen runaway, and a dude get caught in the supernatural battle between femme fatal and the boss clown from hell.

Clownado

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