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Blessed Are the Children (2018)

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Blessed are the Children - Movie Review

2 beers

A solid synth score leads things off.  GREAT.  A spooky setting is quickly made clear as the titles begin and end.  AWESOME.  There’s a jump scare early on and then…and then…nothing.  What the hell, man?!  Blessed Are the Children starts right out of the gate promising something that it doesn’t even TRY to deliver on until AFTER the first act of the film ends. 

It’s as if somewhere along the line in its production, someone had a different idea and decided to expand on ALL the female characters, when all we needed was one expansion (see Erin’s story, who is EASILY the best character). 

It becomes fairly obvious that the director doesn’t want to satisfy our expectations. Okay, fine. He wants audiences HUNGRY for the kill and, when it does happen (which it eventually will), there is a fierceness that seems almost scandalous because these are extreme kills. 

Maybe it is because you forgot why you were watching this flick, lulled into the day to day proceedings of these girls.  If that is the case, to my way of thinking, that’s going to cause a lot of audiences to shrug this one off which is too bad.  Strip away some of the fat and there is a good horror film here with interesting – if not controversial – themes.

"pays a lot of homage to the slasher genre while trying to decide if it does in fact want to be one."


Traci Patterson (Kaley Ball)  is having a significantly rough time at life.  She’s without her father and her mother isn’t the most supportive, having made her look like a bit of a fool on the eve of her wedding.  Her former fiancée is a complete alcoholic WASTOID and now, since she loves herself big ol’ hunks of man meat, she’s in a stupid relationship with a total loser who is busy banging two other chicks.  Could things get any worse for the unfortunate girl?

They can and they do in Blessed Are the Children, a new horror film premiering later this month on DVD and VOD.  Because something – a sinister something, masked and aware – is following her and her friends and, while Traci might be their main target, it is guilty by association for the other two.  Uh-oh.

Writer/director Chris Moore (Perversion, Triggered) isn’t so much interested in killing off the characters he’s created, though.  This is a different kind of slasher.  In fact, the first kill isn’t until a little over a half an hour into the proceedings.  This is going to be a different type of low budget slasher.

Sure, spooky things happen involving a bunch of masked protestors carrying signs outside of an abortion clinic, but Moore is more concerned with spending time with his three female leads.  He wants us to “get” them, no matter how tedious things get.  So we spend a lot of time with “the girls” before the horror gets truly dialed in.

Traci (Ball) and her two friends, Mandy (Keni Bounds) and Erin (Arian Thigpen), have a friendship built upon admiration.  They respect each other enough to be brutally honest with each other.  Never more is that made clear to us than as they all enjoy a scoop of ice cream together.  Their differences are clear and yet, with threats of working out together, they encourage each other to take risks and meet MR. RIGHT…NOW. 

And they are all about helping Traci through her current mess.  But the damn thing is that she keeps screwing up.  And now she wants to end her unexpected pregnancy.

This is how her fate is sealed in an elevator one night.  Blessed Are the Children scores major points when it decides to finally reveal itself as a slasher.  The kills are NASTY.  It’s getting to that point that is the chore. 

Look, I get it.  I understand that Moore wants us to care about his characters.  He wants us to see them as modern women facing modern situations.  That’s all perfectly fine but, honestly, the editing in this feature flick could have tightened up a bit of the narrative and introduced the whole slasher spirit a bit sooner.  Chop.  Chop.  Chop.  And I am not talking about the victims.  Tighten up the thread and make this one zip along a bit more than it does.

Blessed are the Children - Movie Review

Instead, we meander through a bit too much of Traci’s self-induced pity party beforehand.  No matter how you tell it, Traci isn’t a likable character.  It is interesting then that, of all the graphic kills, hers is the most impactful.  Just when you can’t stand to hear her complain anymore, a knife is rammed into her mouth.  You might just applaud. 

With an easy 20-minutes that could be lost to clean the pacing of this horror film, Blessed Are the Children pays a lot of homage to the slasher genre while trying to decide if it does in fact want to be one.  When it finally awakens from the narrative slumber, the movie ABSOLUTELY comes alive. 

Look for the children to be avenged October 23rd.

Blessed are the Children - Movie Review

MPAA Rating: Not rated.
Runtime:
98 mins
Director
: Chris Moore
Writer:
Chris Moore, Chris Wesley
Cast:
Kaley Ball, Keni Bounds, Arian Thigpen
Genre
: Horror
Tagline:
His god is not your god.
Memorable Movie Quote: "It's like they were staring straight into my soul."
Theatrical Distributor:
Wild Eye Releasing
Official Site:
Release Date:
October 31, 2018
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:

Synopsis: After getting an abortion, Traci Patterson begins to suspect that something sinister is following her and her friends.

Blessed are the Children - Movie Review

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

No details available.

Blessed are the Children - Movie Review