BADass SINema Unearthed - Blu-ray Review

Vampire Cop (1990) - Blu-ray Review

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Vampire Cop (1990) - blu-ray

2 beersThere was a brief time, Lunatics and Germs, when the 1990s absolutely sucked.  It was the very beginning of the decade, starting perhaps around 1988, and we were in a bit of an identity dilemma wondering in which direction the pendulum would swing.  Our stopgap fashion wouldn’t embrace neon or hoop earrings but we had yet, especially if you weren’t living in the Pacific Northwest, to go full-on plaid.  It was a confusing time for all.  Oh, how the popular music, as evidenced by the hysterically AWFUL theme song, sucked…such a tortured time for our eyes and ears. 

And if you were making already dirt-poor flicks, well, you were just shit out of luck.  Documenting all this nonsense was not pleasant.  Returning to it is just as hilariously awful.  The pre-mosh pit antics of the crowd at the concert as the cheesy theme song plays is documentation enough of the mass confusion present in the landscape.  And you can’t just blame Florida or Georgia (it’s two locations).  This is the panicked atmosphere that a cheap-ass flick like Vampire Cop gets thrust into … and, yeah, it shows.

Not even SRS Cinema LLC’s 1080p release of writer/director (and VHS b-movie baddie) Donald Farmer (Cannibal Hookers) can salvage the fashion hiccups.  But this isn’t a “horror” movie concerned with Miami Vice fashion.  Officer Lucas (Ed Cannon) is pissed off.  He’s avenging the murder of his partner with the help of reporter Melanie Roberts (the often disrobed Melissa Moore) in an effort to take down a dangerous kingpin of drugs (Terence Jenkins).

So, yeah, it’s cheaply made c-grade entertainment – with Oscar winning RJ McKay in tow – about a blonde-haired vampire cop on night patrol (of course).  He’s taking down the riff-raff one broken blood-drained wrist after another.  Talk about taking a bite out of crime, McGruff.   Its effects are watery and done on the cheap and its entertainment is steeped in recycled vampire jokes.  None of that gets in the way of this officer’s duty, though.

Lucas hangs upside down.  He bites all the ladies on the neck.  And he casts an ominous shadow…especially in slow motion.  On repeat nonetheless.  But Vampire Cop is, at the very least, aware of itself as a boob-infested and blood-drained joke and embraces that with over-the-top moments that earn it a chuckle or two.  Even a groan!  Just don’t find yourself needing (or wanting) to sit through its 16mm nocturnal insanity again. 

To be clear, Vampire Cop is relatively awful.  Even by B-movie standards, this one just smacks of slap-happy goofiness.  The actors don’t even try to remain in character.  Accents slip.  And, thanks to those thigh high bikini bottoms, the women are mere objects to be ogled.  They don’t even aim for anything else.  There’s an over-reliance on slow motion and, as the sex scenes are relatively juvenile, it makes its own use of heavy nudity rather a boring thing.  Such things shouldn’t happen.

However, it must be stated that THE ABSOLUTE BEST VERSION TO WATCH IS THE DIRECTOR’S CUT OF THE MOVIE.  The other, the one that hundreds of VHS-junkies have seen, is unwatchable.  Boring as hell and stuffed with dream sequences, you better just skip it.  Thankfully, SRS Cinema LLC includes both versions on their blu-ray release of this former VHS cult release.

Suck on the jugular with the release of Vampire Cop on blu-ray.  Just don’t expect Melissa Moore’s boobs to look any better than they did on VHS.  Bat bummer, I know.  The limited edition Blu-ray release, professionally run and silk-screened BD-R by Discmakers, is limited to just 100 copies.  Act fast.

Vampire Cop (1990) - blu-ray

MPAA Rating: R for strong violence and sensuality, and for language.
Runtime:
89 mins
Director
: Donald Farmer
Writer:
Donald Farmer
Cast:
Ed Cannon, Melissa Moore, Mal Arnold
Genre
: Horror
Tagline:
He Takes a Bite Out of Crime!
Memorable Movie Quote: "Quite a night owl, aren't we?"
Theatrical Distributor:
No theatrical US distribution
Official Site:
Release Date:
No theatrical release
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
October 11, 2016
Synopsis: A cop, who's actually a vampire, teams up with a hot investigative journalist to stop a posh crime boss.

Vampire Cop (1990) - blu-ray

Blu-ray

Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor: SRS Cinema
Available on Blu-ray
- February 28, 2017
Screen Formats: 1.33:1
Subtitles
: None
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; single disc
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A

SRS Cinema’s 1080p release of Vampire Cop isn’t a very pretty HD item to discuss.  Sourced from either the VHS copy or the 16mm itself, the blurry footage makes for a howling mess of a bad time.  No lines are clear throughout the film.  Much of it is blurry and blob-like (we are spoiled, aren’t we?) but there’s still a good time to be found…if solely in the director’s cut of the movie.  Vampire Cop is presented in a blood-filled 1.33:1 aspect ratio and supports an English DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 track.

Supplements:

Commentary:

  •  Farmer’s commentary is an awesome recording.  He talks about making the movie in an informal way and fills the track with a lot of information that keeps it charged with interest.  It is almost, especially if you are a fan of low budget filmmaking, worthy enough of the price tag.

Special Features:

There are two cuts of the movie included with this Blu-ray release.  The first is the producer’s cut and, yeah, it pretty much should be avoided at all costs.  It sucks.  The second cut of the movie, the director’s cut, is shorter by 6-minutes and an absolutely better cinematic experience by far.  Dig in.

Vampire Cop (1990) - blu-ray

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